This is Gary. He is an expert at putting things off. Gary is a procrastinator. A victim of his own behavior. Sure, procrastinators usually miss opportunities because they’re so overwhelmed by what they have not done. And too little focused on what they need to do. You see? Procrastination is opportunities’s natural assassin. Kills productivity; […]
You have been asked by your boss to lead a team to tackle a huge project. Or you are moving. And you need to clean out the garage. Or a basement full of stuff that has accumulated over decades. The question with each of these is, “Where do I start! How do I get started!!” […]
https://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/A86D856A-3755-46F5-AA4E-F0BC1F3D0673.png10241024Bob Brickleyhttps://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.pngBob Brickley2026-02-16 14:01:072026-03-03 10:56:20… “and it came to us.“
Throw a small rock into a placid lake. It makes a splash. But more importantly, it has a rippling effect on the entire lake. Such can be the effect words can have when communicating. They can radiate, have far more impact than we think. Did you ever notice how you can connect with someone, with […]
Did you know that humans are the only animals on earth that can make a decision between stimulus and response? It is true. All other animals? Take a stimulus in one ear and speed it out the other. Instantly, without any thought. But we have what is known as a “mental screen” that allows us, […]
“As we go through life, there are no sufferings … Only challenges.” I read an article yesterday that inspired me to write this piece. As I describe all this. Please know I am relating this to illustrate the main point driving this piece. The impact of “positivity” … at the expense of full accuracy. Some […]
Jon Batiste, the renowned jazz musician, was featured on the CBS show “Sunday Morning” yesterday. His story was spellbinding. Surpassed only by the magic of his music. He closed a twenty minute interview saying simply, “Strap In.” These two words beaconed the depth of his challenges despite his great fame. The emotional wounds he and […]
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It’s a month before my 75th birthday. A good friend of mine wanted to help me celebrate! While at lunch one day he asked me this. “You’ve coached literally hundreds of people over decades. Is there a common “thread” in each of them you can identify? A key to all your interactions with so many […]
There’s been quite a lot of commotion these days about the emergence of “Zoom.” A fabulous new technology actually. At the beginning of this year? Zoom sessions totaled about 10M per month. Today meetings, events, cocktail hours. Wow! We never have to go to the office any more. Maybe schooling on line can really be […]
An unexpected emotional aspect of this virus mess for me? A deepened feeling of sentimentality. Even a little check in with my mortality. People today say we’re realizing those things in life that are “really important, that matter” For me, remembering past experiences, relationships, joys are among my “really importants.” Yesterday I was looking at […]
You get out of bed … you brush your teeth … you eat your breakfast … you go to work … you come home … you eat dinner … you go to bed. Then you do it … all over again. Or at least you used to. Remember that TV Ad? All the things we […]
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A revered friend of mine passed away last year. Most of us fear dying or getting seriously illness. He knew he was going to die. His cancer was terminal. I flew to Philadelphia last summer a few months before he died to essentially say goodbye. He was one of the most admired people in the […]
Events of the past two weeks, the last two days really. Have certainly been “times that try men’s souls.” Shaken my foundation. The pace of change for me has never been this breathtaking. Not only am I not alone … all on earth are experiencing the same emotions, fueled by so much fear and anxiety.I […]
https://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/img-1.jpg16662500Bob Brickley bbrickleyhttps://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.pngBob Brickley bbrickley2020-03-19 08:27:482020-03-19 08:27:48The Pandemic … and Me
I came across a very interesting person recently. Can’t remember his name … just his story. He was a writer. A good writer. Ambitious. Wrote for years … (kinda like me). I related to him. Big ideas. “I’ll change the world with my writings!” He got great responses to his writings. “But I can’t break […]
A dear friend of mine sent this to me last night. At this special time, please take a little time … to embrace the “space between the notes” and give thanks … enjoy. Gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness have been on my mind, lately. These are ingredients in the soup of kindness. A simple introduction to […]
How does a shark die? It stops swimming. Hard to think we resemble this gruesome creature. But in a way many of us do. We are always “swimming.” A daily refrain I hear. “Oh, I’m just so busy!” Don’t get me wrong. Much of busy is good. Necessary! We just have to get things done. But […]
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Can there be a more special moment than watching my granddaughter spontaneously show her “feelings” while on the ocean …Many years ago my coach told me, “Bob you don’t really feel.” Huh? I can cry at a Ford commercial. “No” he said. “You, most of us get emotional. We don’t really feel. Feelings and emotions […]
I always have a hard time when a coaching relationship comes to an end. As most do. Some only last a month. I have two that have lasted over fifteen years. A coaching process of mine that spanned almost three years ended last week. Let me tell you a little about it. One day while coaching […]
As a Life Coach I’m often asked, “Coaching. What’s that mean? What do you do?” Frankly, I’ve always found it hard to describe. Non factual, behavior based … life coaching is more art than science. It requires listening deeply. Trying to explore the parts of ones human psyche, emotions that define the issues to be […]
I had lunch with a good friend of mine yesterday. Good because we are extremely open … vulnerable with one another. Granted we’re both right brainers … emotional, instinctive, very people oriented. We soar from topic to topic. Share perspectives on mutual challenges. Our wins and our losses. Laugh a lot. You get it. We […]
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What is wisdom? While the definition my be elusive, we usually know it when we see it. Don’t we. Typically, my “older” friends come across as wise. But why? As I thought about it? Experience may be the primary ingredient in wisdom. Seeing things in the context of where one has been, seen … experienced. […]
“What’s wrong with me?” This is the question I’ve been asked most over the years I’ve been coaching. “What’s wrong with me?” “I have these issues I need to address. Why? Why me?” So, what’s wrong? Really nothing. What you discover about you, the issues we all face? All are grounded in our life experiences. […]
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… failure is never fatal. I learned the other day that if a shark stops swimming … it will die. It needs to keep swimming to keep oxygen rich water flowing through it’s gills. Of course without rest and sleep … we would all expire. But the shark’s dilemma does provide a message to heed. We can […]
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Nancy and have a number of memorable vacation spots. While visiting our favorite four years ago … Harbor Island in the Bahamas we came upon a small sign we have hanging in our kitchen. Simply inscribed … “Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much” Coincidently I read this message early this morning.I spent the last two […]
As the common saying goes, “There’s no “I” in team.” No I agree. But great teamwork requires many “eyes” to be successful doesn’t it. Consider a slam dunk when eye contact from the passer sends the dunker to the rim. Consider a quarterback who eyes his receiver indicating what pattern he should run.Consider the eye […]
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Not the marching chant. Rather … this. Nancy and I have a couple we see often. Conversation always very balanced, back and forth. Over dinner mostly. Really fun.I’ve noticed something interesting. Our chatter usually moves to a pattern as these evenings unfold.He ends up talking to Nancy. I end up talking to his wife. Oh […]
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As a coach I’m absolute with all I work with … you must reach outside yourself with your aspirations, desires, define your end game. Life with purpose is as essential as the air we breathe. Gives us a vibrancy that colors the journey.This comes naturally with some. Less so with others. Infrequently, purpose escapes a […]
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I may be accused of covering the same theme here … over and over. But I don’t think there is anything that changes us more than how we see others. Extend ourselves to others. And receive so much in return. Even while slow aging. Makes us brighter. More open and inviting. So … repetitious or […]
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I interviewed a young man yesterday for a client here in Atlanta.At the end of all interviews I conduct, I tell the candidate, “Now I’m your consultant. Ask me anything you’d like to. About me, you, the opportunity before you.”He replied, “Do you think I’m the type of person who could succeed here?”To which I […]
“Vulnerability and trust are kissin’ cousins.”I’ve shared this thought with those I coach for years. Putting yourself at risk … emotional risk. Being open. The most difficult risk to take in life? … the emotional risk.Showing others true challenging emotions. Need, hurt, sadness, failure. Most react with “Don’t do it.” Right? Whatever the feeling. Oh, […]
Work with my coach Chris revealed years ago that my Achilles heal has always been my feeling of rejection. Experienced as early as kindergarten, my eyes were severely crossed. Blindness in my left eye at birth was the cause.We know how children can be unintentionally cruel. My grammar school friends unknowingly were. I was pointed […]
The Tiger Woods story will be told for years to come. A legendary athletic feat that stunningly evolved before our eyes last week. Maybe never to have a parallel in sports … life even. Not to overdramatize, but the dynamics of Tiger’s feat for me go so beyond golf itself. Moreover Sunday’s scene on the […]
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I watch TV commentary a lot. I go to Starbucks most mornings. I talk to millennials. One thing I’ve noticed that these experiences have in common? Everything runs at high speed today.Technology has been defining. Of our culture, all the increased productivity we benefit from. Good! But the speed of life? Most times I make […]
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If your like me, the news, … the plethora of TV pundits is kinda like a bathroom sink that won’t drain. A worthless pool of stuff in need of a good shot of Drano to clean the sludge out. I’m a loyal American. But too many times I feel like I’ve got hair like the […]
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My father was an unforgettable character. A great athlete, wonderful provider. And even though he rarely told me so … very proud of me. He taught me many lessons. None more important than this one. “Be yourself.” This piece of advice has always resonated with me. I’ve utilize a behavioral diagnostic in my coaching practice […]
Life is finite. This comes front and center for me at weddings and funerals. The beginnings of the new, and all the promise ahead. The endings honoring lives well lived.As glorious and saddening as both events are? For me? There is one inescapable truth … fulfillment of God’s promise. His Love may never be more […]
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What is a martyr? By definition … … Seeking out suffering or persecution because it either feeds a psychological need or a desire to avoid responsibility … some call this Victim Complex In all my years coaching I’ve faced challenging human conditions of all varieties. Confusion … depression … recklessness. All of them. Good people seeking […]
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After 50+ years of building, working with teams large and small, I have learned one indisputable thing. Culture trumps strategy … every time. Early in 2017 I had lunch with a guy a client of mine wanted me to check out for him. He arrived in a three piece suit, twenty minutes late … loquacious. […]
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Our President. Trump, “Hits Back!” Well, he does. But what if he didn’t? At least not quite as much. Let me share a story that may help address this question. Legendary hockey player Mark Messier starred in the NHL for a quarter of a century from 1974-2009. During his inspiring career he was much admired. […]
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The death of George H.W. Bush this passed weekend hit me unexpectedly hard. As I meditated this morning, I realized why. Bush’s oldest son Neil said, yesterday, “My father led with love.” In fact his last words were in response to his son George’s last words to his father, “Dad, l love you. I will see you […]
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The status quo dies hard. After all it has one of the most powerful forces on the planet as its ally. Fear. Changing things disrupting status quo can be scary.Fear is … the enemy of change… stealer of ambition… the champion of the half measure, the checked swing, the almost-there. It softens the hard stance, […]
In the movie the “Dream Girls” Beyoncé performs the song “Listen.” “With a song in my heart…🎶” she sings as she laments about a boyfriend who simply won’t listen to her. I learned a long time ago that I never learn anything while I’m talking. Lunch with a good friend last Monday confirmed this to […]
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Coasting …“I’m a success.” … “I’ve retired” … “I’ve never been happier.”All statements I’ve heard from others. “I can just sit back and enjoy the ride.”Not so fast.There’s only one way to coast…and that’s downhill.Coasters. That’s what I call them. Those who’ve done it all. Look at me-ers. Better than most.If you run into a […]
REPEATED FROM A PREVIOUS BLOG POST …The beautiful passage below is offered with respect but intention … to all my fellow users of technology. All that time you spend on your devices will rob you of the essence of this beautiful missive. May block you from the blessings of relationship, intimacy, even Love. You may […]
If you asked someone, “What’s the opposite of Love?” The normal reply, “Hate”. I ask this question frequently, and I get the same reply, “Hate”. Richard Jampolsky wrote a book in 1979 entitled, Love is Letting Go of Fear… Groundbreaking then… even more so today. You can buy it on Amazon. In fact what I’ve learned? […]
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Last Saturday evening I had the honor of attending the 50th anniversary celebration of my long term consulting client, The Benefit Company. I was asked to say a few words, reflect on my twenty plus years serving this great team of professionals.I won’t go into the specifics of this wonderful event. Just let me say […]
https://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.png00Bob Brickley bbrickleyhttps://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.pngBob Brickley bbrickley2018-08-21 07:17:272018-08-21 07:17:27Abundant vs Scarcity Mentality
I believe we all get messages… I call them “whispers.” Instinctive flashes of thought that most of us ignore, rarely act upon. Call them messages from God. Or maybe they come from spirits that are in our midst. Some think this as well. Or maybe they’re just there … to heed or not.Whatever the source, […]
America has lost a hero. That term may be overused. But Charles Krauthammer was certainly a hero. He died last week. Charles was the essence of integrity, authenticity and grace. Fox News aired a special last Friday. A rich, vibrant recounting of Krauthammer’s life. Told mostly by him in a reserved, erudite manner. Shared openly […]
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We all at one time have had a challenging, uncomfortable, even toxic relationship with another person. A colleague at work. An old, difficult friend. Or yes, even a relative or spouse. You tough it out because you decide to. Or in some cases… you persevere because you feel you have to. Or just because your “supposed” […]
The New York best seller, I’ve Been Thinkin’ by Maria Shriver is a thought provoking collection of short chapters detailing the lessons she has learned during her life filled with challenges, loss and unusual heartache. A father who she adored dying of Alzheimers, Arnold, and of course the tragedy of being a member of the […]
https://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.png00Bob Brickley bbrickleyhttps://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.pngBob Brickley bbrickley2018-05-09 10:12:422018-05-09 10:12:42We All Have Mental Issues… Here’s Why
Chris Andersonn has coached me for over 20 years. He lives in California. I live in Georgia. We talk for an hour… hour and a half… every 10 days or so. By phone. We’ve met only twice and yet he is one of the most important people in my life.M. Scott Peck wrote a book […]
We all get down at times. Some of us (actually quite a few of us) have suffered from depression or other form of mental illness. But I’ve discovered some interesting things about being down… depressed. Examples: a loss… a game, a job, a relationship. These are times to be clear. These are times when you […]
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Life is about movement… moving is essential to health, well being. We live in “Now” and “Next.” All we have in a given moment. But transition. Moving from one phase of life to another is always challenging. From college to that first job; marriage; divorce, … “retirement” (a myth as I’ve offered before). Many more.In […]
Horror … Evil … Catastrophe … all words that knife through the hearts of us all. Today another incident in Florida brings these words front and center as we process the unspeakable.But I have always wondered. Words matter… But. What’s the action to follow, serve as urgent response to prevent future repeats of the evil […]
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I read a lot. Four hundred books on the shelves in my office tell me so. I am always inspired when true words of wisdom, quotes fuel my passion for coaching people… helping them grow. Here are my Top Five from 2017. Motives for new beginnings as a new year unfolds… “As a man thinketh […]
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Gratitude, expectation, resolution. A time to begin anew… birth new ways if living, explore new possibilities. So vivid with hope. And always faced as well with the challenges to succeed.This is where I start with the new year. Looking through the “Rearview Mirror” to grasp what I learned last year. Then turning my gaze to […]
This beautiful quote from a poem by Robert Frost is thought provoking. The symmetry of the verse challenges you and comforts you at the same time. There are two distinct parts …First, “And did you get all you wanted from this life” … ? The second? “… even so?” I’ve spent some wonderful years accomplishing much. […]
https://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.png00Bob Brickley bbrickleyhttps://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.pngBob Brickley bbrickley2017-12-09 13:07:432017-12-09 13:07:43“And did you get all you wanted from this life, even so?”
If the ax is dull and one does not sharpen the edge,then he must use more strength; but wisdom brings success.Ecclesiastes 10:10I’ve always been a devotee of the great Stephen Covey. He authored the life changing book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective” People.I taught his course for two years. Covey’s seventh habit was “Sharpen […]
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I’ve become very nocturnal. Love the very early part of a new day. In bed early. Get 7 hours of sleep every night. Clock just awakes me at 2-2:30am. Always alive with anticipation of the stuff ahead. Because my days are full… I need time to settle, plan, imagine what’s ahead. A lot of this […]
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I’ve coached some big guys in my day. CEOS… entrepreneurs.They have gotten where they are by taking risks. Usually well calculated, but not always. Financially, career wise. The bets they’ve taken and won. That’s what’s made them “big.”But I’ve discovered that with all the trappings. The cars, homes, all the $$. You get it. The […]
The following with some revision on my part was sent to me this week by a friend. Beautiful. Inspired by tragedy… immersed in love. As the floods subside. As the cameras leave. We, those not effected by this devastation, will return to our normal lives. Many say, “This great outpouring won’t last long.” Hurricane Sandy… […]
https://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.png00Bob Brickley bbrickleyhttps://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.pngBob Brickley bbrickley2017-09-02 07:25:082017-09-02 07:25:08Houston? We have an Opportunity…
I truly love the great people I have the privilege of coaching. They all want to grow. They’re “seekers.” Curious about themselves, others. Success to them? Varies with each one.Failures. They have had their bunch. Me too. Regrets… recent stumbles. Childhood memories hard to erase. These are real mental “wounds.” Just as hurtful as any […]
I hear this a lot. You too? “Oh, what a coincidence!” You know the person you see in the grocery store you were just thinking about. That phone call that came from someone you haven’t heard from in years. What coincidences! I got a call from an old acquaintance earlier this week who I really […]
https://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/D01E342B-E58C-453C-81B1-D7182CB75D32.jpeg22202500Bob Brickley bbrickleyhttps://mybrickleys.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/brickblog-80x80.pngBob Brickley bbrickley2017-08-25 09:18:462017-08-25 09:18:46“What a Coincidence!”
I am so grateful. Start all my mornings… up around 2:30-3. In bed last night at 7:30. Do the math before gasping. Previewed the new Mercedes Benz Stadium yesterday. New home of my Atlanta Falcons. Incredible. But draining too.In the sack early after another enchanting day.You see my life experiences today are good… bad, actually […]
If you’ve read a number of the posts in this Blog, you’ve gathered that relationships… love of people is my passion. I’m asked, “Where did you learn all this stuff?” In truth I am “home schooled.” Three hundred books in my office attest to the fact this is so. Lots of studying with mentors. All […]
The mind can be a tricky. We look forward and we look backward. What’s in front of us. What’s in back of us. Both are important.Consider this though. All we can control, can address are NOW and NEXT. The current moment and our next action… what we decide… NOW, a decision in the moment then […]
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As a coach, I deal with the full range of human emotions… challenging situations we all find ourselves in at different times.“He does this.” “She does that.” “Why is this happening to me?”Always emotionally annoying. If not addressed, gradually intense. People don’t come to me until the problem is acute. In most cases the person […]
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A great man reaches highest whenhe reaches down to help another man up. I grew up on the Main Line in Philadelphia. Don’t say “Oh!” like most do. I wasn’t a “Main Liner”… Blue blood. I can remember this refined attractive elderly lady… the fifth time I met her. Went something like this. My Mom, […]
I chose this illustration for my Blog to depict the path or journey I find so many on today. The stairs. Firm and clear at the bottom. This is now. Driven to grow, climb based on decisions you’ve made along the way. About your life. About your path. About where you are going.But take heed. […]
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AccountabilityTaking responsibility for something that youhave done or something you are supposed to do.Or more simply… doing what you say you will do. I have lived a life full of accountability. My own… helping others be accountable too. A much used word… most often misunderstood.But accountability lies at the root of character, respect… above all […]
Retirement is a myth. I’ve engaged with execs, business owners, even a few friends. Coaching them as they move from a career, a new phase of life… most times to “retirement.” The common story, “If I can just put in a little more time, and get to retirement. I will be free !!”… “Yes!!” Right? […]
Years ago Stephen Covey wrote a groundbreaking book elevating the concept of personal growth. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Here are “14 Don’ts of Highly Effective People”Read ’em… repeat them… over and over. They will change you. Inspired, some borrowed from Amy Morin’s great book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” 1. […]
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I once worked with a super sales guy. Led his Company in sales most years. Three homes… the big Mercedes… ego galore. You didn’t have to ask him about these… he was more than willing totell you. Alan (not his real name) was very good at what he did. Which led me to send him […]
Where have they gone? Our values that is … our courtesies, our basic sense of respect, just plain decency. Our college campuses give me the most pause here. “My word is my bond.” Don’t hear this as often anymore. Now it’s PC… intolerance, angrily disagreeing… fighting with one another… way too much.Of course we’ve reaped […]
Our world today is in chaos. Our politics, our resources, the Global order. The lives of so many people all over the world are in complete disarray. From Africa to the Middle East to right here in America. Some look at this mess and conclude… maybe a period of disruption is necessary before a new […]
Risk. I have found the greatest risk in life is… investing? starting a business? betting a bunch at Vegas? No. The greatest risk in life is taking an emotional risk. Confronting a colleague at work, a friend or a loved one when there are problems in the relationship. Making yourself vulnerable sharing your true heart […]
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1 Corinthians 16:14 … Let all things you do be done in love… I was once told, “Did you know you cannot love a person?” “Oh? I replied, “Do you have some hedonistic view of the world? Love many people thus more pleasure? What are you driving at?” This is hard for me to explain, […]
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We are so polarized today aren’t we. Politics, relationships, what to have for dinner tonight. The flood of information, its’ speed of delivery has made us all “experts”… “Google it” has made us knowledgeable quickly on just about any subject. See how smart we’ve become? How smart I am. All this for the most part […]
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Ebenezer Scrooge. Shows up every Christmas. Stooped over… grimaced face… angry, oh so angry. A life of greed, contempt, unhappiness. Even hate. He’s familiar to us.In truth we all have a little “Scrooge” in us, don’t we. I call this the burden of the sandbags. No, not the bags of sand you find building levies, […]
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A newborn… so precious. Equally as exhausting. Right? … for those new parents out there? A baby’s thought process? Very simple. Stimulus… response. Eat, sleep, poop. No real “mental” screening going on here… yet to be developed. As the child grows, so does the his/her “mental screen.” What do I mean? Simply? We all receive volumes […]
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“It Was a Very Good Year” For those who can remember… the melodious tones of Frank Sinatra. A very good year. What was your best year? Days, hours, moments? Think back. Times in the “zone”, on a roll! Tears of joy… times you’ll never forget? Go ahead, go there… right now. I’ll join you. Watching […]
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Procrastination
Emotional GrowthThis is Gary. He is an expert at putting things off. Gary is a procrastinator. A victim of his own behavior. Sure, procrastinators usually miss opportunities because they’re so overwhelmed by what they have not done. And too little focused on what they need to do. You see? Procrastination is opportunities’s natural assassin. Kills productivity; […]
… “and it came to us.“
Emotional GrowthYou have been asked by your boss to lead a team to tackle a huge project. Or you are moving. And you need to clean out the garage. Or a basement full of stuff that has accumulated over decades. The question with each of these is, “Where do I start! How do I get started!!” […]
The Ripple Effect
Emotional GrowthThrow a small rock into a placid lake. It makes a splash. But more importantly, it has a rippling effect on the entire lake. Such can be the effect words can have when communicating. They can radiate, have far more impact than we think. Did you ever notice how you can connect with someone, with […]
Your Mental Screen
Emotional GrowthDid you know that humans are the only animals on earth that can make a decision between stimulus and response? It is true. All other animals? Take a stimulus in one ear and speed it out the other. Instantly, without any thought. But we have what is known as a “mental screen” that allows us, […]
Positivity
Emotional Growth“As we go through life, there are no sufferings … Only challenges.” I read an article yesterday that inspired me to write this piece. As I describe all this. Please know I am relating this to illustrate the main point driving this piece. The impact of “positivity” … at the expense of full accuracy. Some […]
Strap In …
Emotional Growth, NewsJon Batiste, the renowned jazz musician, was featured on the CBS show “Sunday Morning” yesterday. His story was spellbinding. Surpassed only by the magic of his music. He closed a twenty minute interview saying simply, “Strap In.” These two words beaconed the depth of his challenges despite his great fame. The emotional wounds he and […]
The “Thread” …
Emotional GrowthIt’s a month before my 75th birthday. A good friend of mine wanted to help me celebrate! While at lunch one day he asked me this. “You’ve coached literally hundreds of people over decades. Is there a common “thread” in each of them you can identify? A key to all your interactions with so many […]
Don’t Zoom … Touch
Emotional GrowthThere’s been quite a lot of commotion these days about the emergence of “Zoom.” A fabulous new technology actually. At the beginning of this year? Zoom sessions totaled about 10M per month. Today meetings, events, cocktail hours. Wow! We never have to go to the office any more. Maybe schooling on line can really be […]
Sentimentality
Emotional GrowthAn unexpected emotional aspect of this virus mess for me? A deepened feeling of sentimentality. Even a little check in with my mortality. People today say we’re realizing those things in life that are “really important, that matter” For me, remembering past experiences, relationships, joys are among my “really importants.” Yesterday I was looking at […]
The Best Medicine …
Emotional GrowthYou get out of bed … you brush your teeth … you eat your breakfast … you go to work … you come home … you eat dinner … you go to bed. Then you do it … all over again. Or at least you used to. Remember that TV Ad? All the things we […]
“Selfishness”
Emotional GrowthA revered friend of mine passed away last year. Most of us fear dying or getting seriously illness. He knew he was going to die. His cancer was terminal. I flew to Philadelphia last summer a few months before he died to essentially say goodbye. He was one of the most admired people in the […]
The Pandemic … and Me
Emotional GrowthEvents of the past two weeks, the last two days really. Have certainly been “times that try men’s souls.” Shaken my foundation. The pace of change for me has never been this breathtaking. Not only am I not alone … all on earth are experiencing the same emotions, fueled by so much fear and anxiety.I […]
Small Gestures …
Emotional GrowthI came across a very interesting person recently. Can’t remember his name … just his story. He was a writer. A good writer. Ambitious. Wrote for years … (kinda like me). I related to him. Big ideas. “I’ll change the world with my writings!” He got great responses to his writings. “But I can’t break […]
Thanksgiving 2019
Emotional GrowthA dear friend of mine sent this to me last night. At this special time, please take a little time … to embrace the “space between the notes” and give thanks … enjoy. Gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness have been on my mind, lately. These are ingredients in the soup of kindness. A simple introduction to […]
Doing … Being
Emotional GrowthHow does a shark die? It stops swimming. Hard to think we resemble this gruesome creature. But in a way many of us do. We are always “swimming.” A daily refrain I hear. “Oh, I’m just so busy!” Don’t get me wrong. Much of busy is good. Necessary! We just have to get things done. But […]
Feeling …
Emotional GrowthCan there be a more special moment than watching my granddaughter spontaneously show her “feelings” while on the ocean …Many years ago my coach told me, “Bob you don’t really feel.” Huh? I can cry at a Ford commercial. “No” he said. “You, most of us get emotional. We don’t really feel. Feelings and emotions […]
When Coaching Ends …
Emotional GrowthI always have a hard time when a coaching relationship comes to an end. As most do. Some only last a month. I have two that have lasted over fifteen years. A coaching process of mine that spanned almost three years ended last week. Let me tell you a little about it. One day while coaching […]
Lubrication …
Emotional GrowthAs a Life Coach I’m often asked, “Coaching. What’s that mean? What do you do?” Frankly, I’ve always found it hard to describe. Non factual, behavior based … life coaching is more art than science. It requires listening deeply. Trying to explore the parts of ones human psyche, emotions that define the issues to be […]
Pick Your Spots …
Emotional GrowthI had lunch with a good friend of mine yesterday. Good because we are extremely open … vulnerable with one another. Granted we’re both right brainers … emotional, instinctive, very people oriented. We soar from topic to topic. Share perspectives on mutual challenges. Our wins and our losses. Laugh a lot. You get it. We […]
Wisdom
Emotional GrowthWhat is wisdom? While the definition my be elusive, we usually know it when we see it. Don’t we. Typically, my “older” friends come across as wise. But why? As I thought about it? Experience may be the primary ingredient in wisdom. Seeing things in the context of where one has been, seen … experienced. […]
It’s Not What’s Wrong … It’s What Happened
Emotional Growth“What’s wrong with me?” This is the question I’ve been asked most over the years I’ve been coaching. “What’s wrong with me?” “I have these issues I need to address. Why? Why me?” So, what’s wrong? Really nothing. What you discover about you, the issues we all face? All are grounded in our life experiences. […]
Success is Never Final …
Emotional Growth… failure is never fatal. I learned the other day that if a shark stops swimming … it will die. It needs to keep swimming to keep oxygen rich water flowing through it’s gills. Of course without rest and sleep … we would all expire. But the shark’s dilemma does provide a message to heed. We can […]
Living … Laughing … Loving
Emotional GrowthNancy and have a number of memorable vacation spots. While visiting our favorite four years ago … Harbor Island in the Bahamas we came upon a small sign we have hanging in our kitchen. Simply inscribed … “Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much” Coincidently I read this message early this morning.I spent the last two […]
The “Eyes” vs The “I”s … and The “Eyes” Have It
Emotional GrowthAs the common saying goes, “There’s no “I” in team.” No I agree. But great teamwork requires many “eyes” to be successful doesn’t it. Consider a slam dunk when eye contact from the passer sends the dunker to the rim. Consider a quarterback who eyes his receiver indicating what pattern he should run.Consider the eye […]
Right – Left … Right – Left
Emotional GrowthNot the marching chant. Rather … this. Nancy and I have a couple we see often. Conversation always very balanced, back and forth. Over dinner mostly. Really fun.I’ve noticed something interesting. Our chatter usually moves to a pattern as these evenings unfold.He ends up talking to Nancy. I end up talking to his wife. Oh […]
“It was only then I knew … “
Emotional GrowthAs a coach I’m absolute with all I work with … you must reach outside yourself with your aspirations, desires, define your end game. Life with purpose is as essential as the air we breathe. Gives us a vibrancy that colors the journey.This comes naturally with some. Less so with others. Infrequently, purpose escapes a […]
One More Time … Reaching Out in Love
Emotional GrowthI may be accused of covering the same theme here … over and over. But I don’t think there is anything that changes us more than how we see others. Extend ourselves to others. And receive so much in return. Even while slow aging. Makes us brighter. More open and inviting. So … repetitious or […]
Pride
Emotional GrowthI interviewed a young man yesterday for a client here in Atlanta.At the end of all interviews I conduct, I tell the candidate, “Now I’m your consultant. Ask me anything you’d like to. About me, you, the opportunity before you.”He replied, “Do you think I’m the type of person who could succeed here?”To which I […]
Vulnerability …
Emotional Growth“Vulnerability and trust are kissin’ cousins.”I’ve shared this thought with those I coach for years. Putting yourself at risk … emotional risk. Being open. The most difficult risk to take in life? … the emotional risk.Showing others true challenging emotions. Need, hurt, sadness, failure. Most react with “Don’t do it.” Right? Whatever the feeling. Oh, […]
Rejection …
Emotional GrowthWork with my coach Chris revealed years ago that my Achilles heal has always been my feeling of rejection. Experienced as early as kindergarten, my eyes were severely crossed. Blindness in my left eye at birth was the cause.We know how children can be unintentionally cruel. My grammar school friends unknowingly were. I was pointed […]
Winning … and You
Emotional GrowthThe Tiger Woods story will be told for years to come. A legendary athletic feat that stunningly evolved before our eyes last week. Maybe never to have a parallel in sports … life even. Not to overdramatize, but the dynamics of Tiger’s feat for me go so beyond golf itself. Moreover Sunday’s scene on the […]
It’s All About Speed …
Emotional GrowthI watch TV commentary a lot. I go to Starbucks most mornings. I talk to millennials. One thing I’ve noticed that these experiences have in common? Everything runs at high speed today.Technology has been defining. Of our culture, all the increased productivity we benefit from. Good! But the speed of life? Most times I make […]
Live Your Life …
Emotional GrowthIf your like me, the news, … the plethora of TV pundits is kinda like a bathroom sink that won’t drain. A worthless pool of stuff in need of a good shot of Drano to clean the sludge out. I’m a loyal American. But too many times I feel like I’ve got hair like the […]
Authenticity …
Emotional GrowthMy father was an unforgettable character. A great athlete, wonderful provider. And even though he rarely told me so … very proud of me. He taught me many lessons. None more important than this one. “Be yourself.” This piece of advice has always resonated with me. I’ve utilize a behavioral diagnostic in my coaching practice […]
Weddings and Funerals …
Emotional GrowthLife is finite. This comes front and center for me at weddings and funerals. The beginnings of the new, and all the promise ahead. The endings honoring lives well lived.As glorious and saddening as both events are? For me? There is one inescapable truth … fulfillment of God’s promise. His Love may never be more […]
Are You a Martyr? …
Emotional GrowthWhat is a martyr? By definition … … Seeking out suffering or persecution because it either feeds a psychological need or a desire to avoid responsibility … some call this Victim Complex In all my years coaching I’ve faced challenging human conditions of all varieties. Confusion … depression … recklessness. All of them. Good people seeking […]
Culture Trumps Strategy … Every Time
Emotional GrowthAfter 50+ years of building, working with teams large and small, I have learned one indisputable thing. Culture trumps strategy … every time. Early in 2017 I had lunch with a guy a client of mine wanted me to check out for him. He arrived in a three piece suit, twenty minutes late … loquacious. […]
He Never Hit Back …
Emotional GrowthOur President. Trump, “Hits Back!” Well, he does. But what if he didn’t? At least not quite as much. Let me share a story that may help address this question. Legendary hockey player Mark Messier starred in the NHL for a quarter of a century from 1974-2009. During his inspiring career he was much admired. […]
Wisdom in the 90s
Emotional GrowthThe death of George H.W. Bush this passed weekend hit me unexpectedly hard. As I meditated this morning, I realized why. Bush’s oldest son Neil said, yesterday, “My father led with love.” In fact his last words were in response to his son George’s last words to his father, “Dad, l love you. I will see you […]
Courage … Changes Everything
Emotional GrowthThe status quo dies hard. After all it has one of the most powerful forces on the planet as its ally. Fear. Changing things disrupting status quo can be scary.Fear is … the enemy of change… stealer of ambition… the champion of the half measure, the checked swing, the almost-there. It softens the hard stance, […]
The Gift of Listening …
Emotional GrowthIn the movie the “Dream Girls” Beyoncé performs the song “Listen.” “With a song in my heart…🎶” she sings as she laments about a boyfriend who simply won’t listen to her. I learned a long time ago that I never learn anything while I’m talking. Lunch with a good friend last Monday confirmed this to […]
Coasters …
Emotional GrowthCoasting …“I’m a success.” … “I’ve retired” … “I’ve never been happier.”All statements I’ve heard from others. “I can just sit back and enjoy the ride.”Not so fast.There’s only one way to coast…and that’s downhill.Coasters. That’s what I call them. Those who’ve done it all. Look at me-ers. Better than most.If you run into a […]
The Essence of Heart …
Emotional GrowthREPEATED FROM A PREVIOUS BLOG POST …The beautiful passage below is offered with respect but intention … to all my fellow users of technology. All that time you spend on your devices will rob you of the essence of this beautiful missive. May block you from the blessings of relationship, intimacy, even Love. You may […]
The Opposite of Love…
Emotional GrowthIf you asked someone, “What’s the opposite of Love?” The normal reply, “Hate”. I ask this question frequently, and I get the same reply, “Hate”. Richard Jampolsky wrote a book in 1979 entitled, Love is Letting Go of Fear… Groundbreaking then… even more so today. You can buy it on Amazon. In fact what I’ve learned? […]
Abundant vs Scarcity Mentality
Emotional GrowthLast Saturday evening I had the honor of attending the 50th anniversary celebration of my long term consulting client, The Benefit Company. I was asked to say a few words, reflect on my twenty plus years serving this great team of professionals.I won’t go into the specifics of this wonderful event. Just let me say […]
“Eighth Grade”
Emotional GrowthI believe we all get messages… I call them “whispers.” Instinctive flashes of thought that most of us ignore, rarely act upon. Call them messages from God. Or maybe they come from spirits that are in our midst. Some think this as well. Or maybe they’re just there … to heed or not.Whatever the source, […]
Never Apologize for Your Tears…
Emotional GrowthAmerica has lost a hero. That term may be overused. But Charles Krauthammer was certainly a hero. He died last week. Charles was the essence of integrity, authenticity and grace. Fox News aired a special last Friday. A rich, vibrant recounting of Krauthammer’s life. Told mostly by him in a reserved, erudite manner. Shared openly […]
“Leaving” Someone…
Emotional GrowthWe all at one time have had a challenging, uncomfortable, even toxic relationship with another person. A colleague at work. An old, difficult friend. Or yes, even a relative or spouse. You tough it out because you decide to. Or in some cases… you persevere because you feel you have to. Or just because your “supposed” […]
We All Have Mental Issues… Here’s Why
Emotional GrowthThe New York best seller, I’ve Been Thinkin’ by Maria Shriver is a thought provoking collection of short chapters detailing the lessons she has learned during her life filled with challenges, loss and unusual heartache. A father who she adored dying of Alzheimers, Arnold, and of course the tragedy of being a member of the […]
Take Responsibility…
Emotional GrowthChris Andersonn has coached me for over 20 years. He lives in California. I live in Georgia. We talk for an hour… hour and a half… every 10 days or so. By phone. We’ve met only twice and yet he is one of the most important people in my life.M. Scott Peck wrote a book […]
When You’re Down …
Emotional GrowthWe all get down at times. Some of us (actually quite a few of us) have suffered from depression or other form of mental illness. But I’ve discovered some interesting things about being down… depressed. Examples: a loss… a game, a job, a relationship. These are times to be clear. These are times when you […]
Transitions >>>
Emotional GrowthLife is about movement… moving is essential to health, well being. We live in “Now” and “Next.” All we have in a given moment. But transition. Moving from one phase of life to another is always challenging. From college to that first job; marriage; divorce, … “retirement” (a myth as I’ve offered before). Many more.In […]
Words Matter… But
Emotional GrowthHorror … Evil … Catastrophe … all words that knife through the hearts of us all. Today another incident in Florida brings these words front and center as we process the unspeakable.But I have always wondered. Words matter… But. What’s the action to follow, serve as urgent response to prevent future repeats of the evil […]
Power Quotes from 2017 … for ‘18
Emotional GrowthI read a lot. Four hundred books on the shelves in my office tell me so. I am always inspired when true words of wisdom, quotes fuel my passion for coaching people… helping them grow. Here are my Top Five from 2017. Motives for new beginnings as a new year unfolds… “As a man thinketh […]
New Year? … New Beginnings
Emotional GrowthGratitude, expectation, resolution. A time to begin anew… birth new ways if living, explore new possibilities. So vivid with hope. And always faced as well with the challenges to succeed.This is where I start with the new year. Looking through the “Rearview Mirror” to grasp what I learned last year. Then turning my gaze to […]
“And did you get all you wanted from this life, even so?”
Emotional GrowthThis beautiful quote from a poem by Robert Frost is thought provoking. The symmetry of the verse challenges you and comforts you at the same time. There are two distinct parts …First, “And did you get all you wanted from this life” … ? The second? “… even so?” I’ve spent some wonderful years accomplishing much. […]
Weaknesses the Secret to Success
Emotional GrowthIf the ax is dull and one does not sharpen the edge,then he must use more strength; but wisdom brings success.Ecclesiastes 10:10I’ve always been a devotee of the great Stephen Covey. He authored the life changing book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective” People.I taught his course for two years. Covey’s seventh habit was “Sharpen […]
Don’t Fear Alone Time …
Emotional GrowthI’ve become very nocturnal. Love the very early part of a new day. In bed early. Get 7 hours of sleep every night. Clock just awakes me at 2-2:30am. Always alive with anticipation of the stuff ahead. Because my days are full… I need time to settle, plan, imagine what’s ahead. A lot of this […]
The Emotional Risk …
Emotional GrowthI’ve coached some big guys in my day. CEOS… entrepreneurs.They have gotten where they are by taking risks. Usually well calculated, but not always. Financially, career wise. The bets they’ve taken and won. That’s what’s made them “big.”But I’ve discovered that with all the trappings. The cars, homes, all the $$. You get it. The […]
Houston? We have an Opportunity…
Emotional GrowthThe following with some revision on my part was sent to me this week by a friend. Beautiful. Inspired by tragedy… immersed in love. As the floods subside. As the cameras leave. We, those not effected by this devastation, will return to our normal lives. Many say, “This great outpouring won’t last long.” Hurricane Sandy… […]
Failure? Phooey!!
Emotional GrowthI truly love the great people I have the privilege of coaching. They all want to grow. They’re “seekers.” Curious about themselves, others. Success to them? Varies with each one.Failures. They have had their bunch. Me too. Regrets… recent stumbles. Childhood memories hard to erase. These are real mental “wounds.” Just as hurtful as any […]
“What a Coincidence!”
Emotional GrowthI hear this a lot. You too? “Oh, what a coincidence!” You know the person you see in the grocery store you were just thinking about. That phone call that came from someone you haven’t heard from in years. What coincidences! I got a call from an old acquaintance earlier this week who I really […]
Our Children…
Emotional GrowthI am so grateful. Start all my mornings… up around 2:30-3. In bed last night at 7:30. Do the math before gasping. Previewed the new Mercedes Benz Stadium yesterday. New home of my Atlanta Falcons. Incredible. But draining too.In the sack early after another enchanting day.You see my life experiences today are good… bad, actually […]
The Crystal Vase…
Emotional GrowthIf you’ve read a number of the posts in this Blog, you’ve gathered that relationships… love of people is my passion. I’m asked, “Where did you learn all this stuff?” In truth I am “home schooled.” Three hundred books in my office attest to the fact this is so. Lots of studying with mentors. All […]
Windshield and Rearview Mirror…
Emotional GrowthThe mind can be a tricky. We look forward and we look backward. What’s in front of us. What’s in back of us. Both are important.Consider this though. All we can control, can address are NOW and NEXT. The current moment and our next action… what we decide… NOW, a decision in the moment then […]
Pleasing… Rarely Works
Emotional GrowthAs a coach, I deal with the full range of human emotions… challenging situations we all find ourselves in at different times.“He does this.” “She does that.” “Why is this happening to me?”Always emotionally annoying. If not addressed, gradually intense. People don’t come to me until the problem is acute. In most cases the person […]
Humility…
Emotional GrowthA great man reaches highest whenhe reaches down to help another man up. I grew up on the Main Line in Philadelphia. Don’t say “Oh!” like most do. I wasn’t a “Main Liner”… Blue blood. I can remember this refined attractive elderly lady… the fifth time I met her. Went something like this. My Mom, […]
Life and the Staircase…
Emotional GrowthI chose this illustration for my Blog to depict the path or journey I find so many on today. The stairs. Firm and clear at the bottom. This is now. Driven to grow, climb based on decisions you’ve made along the way. About your life. About your path. About where you are going.But take heed. […]
Accountability
Emotional GrowthAccountabilityTaking responsibility for something that youhave done or something you are supposed to do.Or more simply… doing what you say you will do. I have lived a life full of accountability. My own… helping others be accountable too. A much used word… most often misunderstood.But accountability lies at the root of character, respect… above all […]
The Retirement Myth
Emotional GrowthRetirement is a myth. I’ve engaged with execs, business owners, even a few friends. Coaching them as they move from a career, a new phase of life… most times to “retirement.” The common story, “If I can just put in a little more time, and get to retirement. I will be free !!”… “Yes!!” Right? […]
14 Don’ts of Highly Effective People
Emotional GrowthYears ago Stephen Covey wrote a groundbreaking book elevating the concept of personal growth. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Here are “14 Don’ts of Highly Effective People”Read ’em… repeat them… over and over. They will change you. Inspired, some borrowed from Amy Morin’s great book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” 1. […]
“Blind Spots”
Emotional GrowthI once worked with a super sales guy. Led his Company in sales most years. Three homes… the big Mercedes… ego galore. You didn’t have to ask him about these… he was more than willing totell you. Alan (not his real name) was very good at what he did. Which led me to send him […]
Our Fleeting Values …
Emotional GrowthWhere have they gone? Our values that is … our courtesies, our basic sense of respect, just plain decency. Our college campuses give me the most pause here. “My word is my bond.” Don’t hear this as often anymore. Now it’s PC… intolerance, angrily disagreeing… fighting with one another… way too much.Of course we’ve reaped […]
Our Future… the “Internal Universe”
Emotional GrowthOur world today is in chaos. Our politics, our resources, the Global order. The lives of so many people all over the world are in complete disarray. From Africa to the Middle East to right here in America. Some look at this mess and conclude… maybe a period of disruption is necessary before a new […]
The Chasm and the Veil….
Emotional GrowthRisk. I have found the greatest risk in life is… investing? starting a business? betting a bunch at Vegas? No. The greatest risk in life is taking an emotional risk. Confronting a colleague at work, a friend or a loved one when there are problems in the relationship. Making yourself vulnerable sharing your true heart […]
Thoughts on Love…
Emotional Growth1 Corinthians 16:14 … Let all things you do be done in love… I was once told, “Did you know you cannot love a person?” “Oh? I replied, “Do you have some hedonistic view of the world? Love many people thus more pleasure? What are you driving at?” This is hard for me to explain, […]
We’re Living in… Righteousness?
Emotional GrowthWe are so polarized today aren’t we. Politics, relationships, what to have for dinner tonight. The flood of information, its’ speed of delivery has made us all “experts”… “Google it” has made us knowledgeable quickly on just about any subject. See how smart we’ve become? How smart I am. All this for the most part […]
Sandbags for Christmas…
Emotional GrowthEbenezer Scrooge. Shows up every Christmas. Stooped over… grimaced face… angry, oh so angry. A life of greed, contempt, unhappiness. Even hate. He’s familiar to us.In truth we all have a little “Scrooge” in us, don’t we. I call this the burden of the sandbags. No, not the bags of sand you find building levies, […]
Critical… Your Mental Screen
Emotional GrowthA newborn… so precious. Equally as exhausting. Right? … for those new parents out there? A baby’s thought process? Very simple. Stimulus… response. Eat, sleep, poop. No real “mental” screening going on here… yet to be developed. As the child grows, so does the his/her “mental screen.” What do I mean? Simply? We all receive volumes […]
The Song… “It Was a Very Good Year.” Remember?
Emotional Growth“It Was a Very Good Year” For those who can remember… the melodious tones of Frank Sinatra. A very good year. What was your best year? Days, hours, moments? Think back. Times in the “zone”, on a roll! Tears of joy… times you’ll never forget? Go ahead, go there… right now. I’ll join you. Watching […]