“Spaces’ …

We face key decisions in life. Marriage … career choice … even which car to buy. Each brings with it a combination of stimuli (facts, thoughts, emotions) that need to be sorted out. Applied effectively in order for important decisions to work out well. Ultimately, we are the product of the decisions we make.

Throughout “The Space Between the Notes” I’ve written about the importance of living your values … taking responsibility for the choices you make. The writings are designed to lead readers to new awareness about themselves, their relationships with others … culminating in a grounded love of self. 

In a world flooded with information. Speeding ever more quickly every day? Our decisions, our choices are confusing. Complicated by too many options. A taxing complexity that requires discernment at levels our brains find hard to handle. 

How to summon the discipline to the fill “spaces” … the reasoning between the “notes” … our actions … need, definition. Strategy. Before pulling the trigger. 

Pausing to address the “spaces” specifically, tactically… avoids the swirl of messages that race to mind like a hive of bees. 

Let’s explore a process we might employ when making decisions:

·      Firstly, settle. Relax. (Always essential when under pressure.) You will want to prepare yourself, put yourself in a mood that allows information to flow to you. Not rush. 

·      Next take “pencil and paper.” Spill out your thoughts, concerns … the facts, your emotions and thoughts, in writing. Don’t overthink these. Just get ‘em out. On paper. There will be time to refine all this later.

·       Create a “T” chart. Two columns on the page listing the pluses and minuses of the choices before you. This is a first sorting out of the stuff you spilled out initially. 

·      Prioritize both the pluses and minuses on your “T” chart. It’s usual that the top five or so will resonate. Begin leading the way. But “spaces” are airy … imprecise. That’s Ok. More clarity will follow. 

·      We only fear the unknown. Accept that deciding anything brings with it a tension. Fear? No. Rather think of this as “constructive tension.”An absolute necessity to experience before moving forward … making your decision. 

·      All decisions are imperfect. If everything was clear, there would be no such thing as decision making. So know your move requires you take emotional risk. 

·      Ok. You’ve flushed out the issues. Defined key considerations … + and –. Take your thoughts, if not too disclosing , private, share them with a friend or trusted advisor. “What do you think?” Most times the mirror isn’t the best partner when filling the “spaces.” Input from others can help.

·      Lastly, you’ve done your homework. Be confident. Step away from it all. Maybe pour a glass of wine … and check your gut. It should tip you to the plus side or to the minus side. If minuses lurk in your mind, more work needs to be done. If your thoughts and emotions tip to the plus side? Go! Delay here will only drive confusion. An emotional “maintenance” that will impede progress, growth. 

This process may appear to be lengthy. Filling “spaces” requires discipline. A slowing that belies the daily speed of life. Because decision making is vital to the path we choose to travel, stepping off our path … working the “spaces” between the “notes” … the actions we take?

So well worth the effort. So determinant of who we ultimately become.