Peter

“A day without laughter is a day lost.”

Is it possible to have tears of laughter and sadness at the same time?  For sure … this morning, as I remember Peter Sturrock. One of the best friends one could ever have.

Today is the seventh anniversary of his death (?) … (Betsy, correct me if I’m wrong.) Years ago there was a Harvard study. “The Secret to a Fulfilling Life.” The conclusion? Healthy relationships. Peter could have saved those smart guys a lot of time. He always knew relationships with friends always trumped everything else.

If you’re fortunate to have on or two people in your life you trust all with, love unconditionally … you’re gifted.

Peter and I attended the same prep school, same college. Amazingly, we never met until I moved to Hartford in 1981. I loved Peter. He loved me. Simple as that. Peter was wise. He was sensitive, caring and empathetic. A great listener. All the stuff that makes one a great friend.

I was serious, a little stiff, business like. Peter was fun filled. A great party guy. Hilarious! We complemented each other. Worked together as business partners. Peter was large. In physique, personality, and above all in spirit. We even looked alike. One night sitting next to one another at a bar, a guy across from us blurted out, “Hey, are you guys twins?!”
I called him the “squash.” Why? I have no idea. Just one of those sweet nothings friends laugh about

Peter tragically died of cancer. At too early an age. Our friendship lives on in me. In all who knew him. The events, the people in our lives pass. But the emotions … never die. To this day he remains in my spirit, my soul … just as he was when he was with us. Betsy and Sarah. Both his treasures. Friends, friends. Stan, Bruce, Danny, Steve (RIP), Bill, Arty, Mike, Brian, Merle, Jerry… I could go on. Peter’s friendships defined who he was.

We’d play golf together, kinda. Racquet ball, kinda. Picture two, not in good shape, 220+ pounders pirouetting on a racquet ball court. Pretty sight? Not. Even used to draw a crowd to watch us. Didn’t care. We were just having a ball.

Traveled a lot too. Golf trips to some magical spots. Pebble Beach, Pine Valley were a couple of the most memorable. St Maarten, Bermuda … other places with our families

Had gestures, sounds we exchanged that only we understood, “Ehhhhhhhh!!” for one. Huh? People thought we were nuts. Because we were!

Trinity College. We both served in a number of leadership roles as alumni. Were both honored with Alumni Awards of Merit. Peter sang in his church choir, kinda. Served in leadership roles there too. Was first a teacher. Coached the golf team. Not surprisingly his team never won a match.

He loved food. Large guy, remember. You could find him often at “Max on Main”, “Peppercorns” both great Hartford restaurants. But maybe his favorite? “The Golden Lamb Buttery” in Brooklyn, CT. From appetizer to after dinner drinks. If you joined him, be prepared to go the distance.

One of my favorite memories? Our “seagull trips” to my place on Amelia Island. Our “Seagulls” were birthed by the book, “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” about a bird who flew to wondrous heights above the clouds, above all the other gulls to learn who he was. We would share our dreams, our desires, our wins and our losses. Talked about everything. We trusted each other so. Lots of Dewars Scotch always “lubricated” our conversation.. We were intimately connected. Every time we left one another, “I love you, boy.”

He’s here with me right now. Tears, chuckles. He moves me to share this with you this morning. On the anniversary of his death. If there’s a Peter in your life. Who gives you joy, helps you learn who you are, you’re blessed.

I was. I am. Loving relationships. The secret of a fulfilling life. Thanks as always to you Peter for yours.

Happy New Year to all.