“Surprise” Birthday

Events will come into my life periodically … daily actually. That I feel are worth sharing. I find you may benefit because our lives are so parallel in so many ways… aren’t they. If you message me, “Hey, Bob… thanks for that.” If true …my time couldn’t be spent more rewardingly.Here’s my latest event l’d like to share.

My wife Nancy celebrated her birthday this week. She won’t let me tell you which one. But let’s just say I’m 72. She’s always been two years behind me. She is happy she’ll never catch up with me. Good. Got that over with. Nanc’ has never been one for the big “splash.” Opposite of me. She gave me a 40th for the ages. Not for this piece though. “What do you want to do for your birthday, Nanc’?” … “Just be with my Atlanta family. “Ok … Dinner?” “Yeah. That would be great.”
Birthday number — is a big one. Oh, we’d attended the parties for a birthdays inviting fifty best friends. Heard about all the cars, diamonds, exotic trips others had bestowed on the occasion of a — th birthdays. Not her deal. Just a dinner with family. So, off to daughter Sam’s. Presents? Not. Nancy’s mandate.

Instead my two grandchildren and the their parents each wrote a letter to Nancy. How they felt about her. A-l-l-l the things she had done for us over the years. Special dinners… always exquisite. All the trips she guided us on… “Travel is education, Bob.” Sam’s prep school soccer team gave her an award for attending every game they played… over two seasons. Some of them as much as 50 miles away. All that wisdom, discipline, instruction she gave her grandchildren. Me!
In a time when there is just too little of this. Always, always being there… for us all. Always. Always. Even for the “child” she lives with. The outpouring of love, tears, hugs … remembering, celebrating her blew me away. You see. This piece is titled “Surprise” Birthday … but no, we didn’t surprise Nanc’ last Monday. The “surprise” was all on me. The letters each family member wrote to her? Wonderful. But Oh my, Wow!

How had I simply forgotten all the incredible things my wife had done for us. Over all those years. Without fanfare. Just unassumingly going about her every day. No request was missed, objected to. For me… a beautiful home, clean towels twice a week! Finding all those things I misplaced, was sure I’d lost. Groceries always resupplied. You know… stuff you just eventually expect … get used to. Babysitting at a moments notice for her grandchildren. No sacrifice there. I was so disappointed in myself. I’d forgotten. On the couch thinking, lamenting as the letters were being read, “You bozo.”

Literally in an instant… all the petty judgements of her, “Why doesn’t she do this, do that?!” The picky things we all engage in … seemed to just wash away. In an instant. I saw my daughter, my son in law, my two grandchildren in tears, hugging her as Nancy tearfully read each letter … so graciously. So thankfully.

I love my wife even more today since my birthday “surprise” last Monday. In truth I got up early Tuesday morning, sent her this text. “I’m sorry… ” “What for, Bob?” … “I just forgot all the things you’d done for us… me.” Hugging her, “I’m just so sorry.””Oh, Bob! Thank you!” As she washed golf shirts from a trip I’d just returned from. Yeah. On and on.

In our parallel lives there is no doubt a gifted one like Nancy close to you. What might you have missed? Forgotten, taken for granted? Maybe you should let her know. How you really feel about her… or him. Today. Birthday or not.