The Ripple Effect

Throw a small rock into a placid lake. It makes a splash. But more importantly, it has a rippling effect on the entire lake. Such can be the effect words can have when communicating. They can radiate, have far more impact than we think.

Did you ever notice how you can connect with someone, with no words? Just by their posture, their gaze, even the way they hold their arms. Without a word. But when the communication becomes verbal, the words have impact. Take a conversation with a good friend. Words are exchanged easily between the two of you. You can have a casual chats with a neighbor, the guy at the hardware store. In both these cases, these are what I would call “low impact” conversations.

By contrast, other conversations may have “high impact.” Take a father or a mother, a CEO or leader of a company. Their words are much heavier, than in casual conversation. They can cut through like a knife. Words like these mean more. Interestingly, the senders rarely know the effect their words have on others. They have a Blindspot. Their words can strike fear in others, a loss of trust

Meet David …

He is CEO of a thriving company with sixty eight employees. There is an awkwardness about this team. They are not working effectively together. Now, David rarely addresses the group. But he decided it was time to do so about this lack of teamwork. He assembled them all to deal with this problem, rehearsed his message multiple times. To David it was controlled, had a proper tone, got his point across.

Unfortunately, he was unaware of how his words struck, caused “ripples” within the group. All felt this was a negative “finger pointing” session. When David’s asked some of his management team how the meeting went, they replied, “Great, well done.” This wasn’t true, but they didn’t trust what David’s reaction might be. The fact is that David did not have a clue what his words landed on his entire organization. They were heavier and more harmful than the words themselves. As he walked past team members, he noticed they avoided eye contact with him.

Even though David thought he had given an instructive message that day, it had fallen flat. Eventually, he got it. He realized his problem. But he also found that a positive message would have the same impact. In a far more constructive way. Good for him!

The message here? Be sensitive, assess your audience. Feel the power of your words and then order them accordingly.

·      As a parent when you speak to your kids, do you realize the power of your words? How hurtful or inspiring they can be. How seriously they take what you say?

·      Can you think of a time when you said something to someone negatively and you feel they overreacted? You could not understand why they reacted that way?

·      More positively, have you said something to someone and seen how you inspired them? Your words meant so much more than you expected?