Your Mental Screen

Did you know that humans are the only animals on earth that can make a decision between stimulus and response? It is true. All other animals? Take a stimulus in one ear and speed it out the other. Instantly, without any thought.

But we have what is known as a “mental screen” that allows us, if utilized, to take a stimulus into one ear, process it through a “screen” and… before it goes out the other ear, decide what response would work best. Of course, that assumes your “mental screen“ is active. Mel Robbins, the celebrated author, has written about this same concept extensively in her world renowned book, The Let Them Theory. This just gives you a tool to apply her theory.

Have you ever said something in haste, that you wish you could take back? I think we all have. An argument with a friend, or a frustrating issue at home. Maybe a strong opinion you had that was being ignored. Or more calmly an important decision that calls for an immediate response.

If you pause, decide thoughtfully what your response will/should be, you have succeeded in applying your “mental screen”

Believe me. This works!

Meet Brad… successful business, solid family. Good guy. One primary issue Brad must deal with? He has an explosive temper. I spoke with one of the key people at his company. Here’s what she told me, “Every morning we come to the office, we look at Brad’s parking space. If his car isn’t there, we’re going to have a good day. If his car is there, our day will not be good.”

If you ever met Brad, you would see him as friendly, interested in you. At the same time, you cannot miss how compressed, intense he is. Just a look in his eyes tells you his emotions are “combustible” He could explode at any time. And often he does. Over many years, I have learned that “behind every bully is a coward.” What Brad was looking for was “pushback.” Have someone stand up to him. Tell him his behavior was unprofessional and unacceptable. Courageously, his key person above did so, and Brad heard her.

Enter the “mental screen.” Brad realized his short fall. His anger solved nothing. He ended up managing his people by fear. Never works. He had to make a decision. every time negative, potentially harmful emotions showed up. Pause, think. Then respond.

He sought help. Results were positive. His past behavior was hard to let go of. Brad “slipped” a few times. But overall, he did very well. The acid test? When is employees came into the office every morning, they no longer had to look at Brad’s parking space to see how there day would go.

The wonderful thing about the “mental screen” is that it is readily available to anyone who has problems managing their emotions. In fact, emotional control means being more “adult” in the way we address challenges. Try it. It works.

Think about it…

·      Can you recall times when you had strong emotions? And you responded in a way that was hurtful or harmful to another person? Or you made a wrong decision?

·      How does the concept of a “mental screen” sound to you? Do you think you might use it?

·      Is there someone you know, a friend, a colleague at work, or a family member you would like to share this with?