Who Am I ?

Who am I? …We all go through phases, don’t we? The ups the downs. Those crucial decisions that define in many ways the path we choose for our lives. Marriage or significant other, career, avocations.

The years after educating ourselves are dedicated to achieving things, paying the bills, success (defined in a number of ways). This can also be what I call “living in whitewater.” Raising children, doing our job, relationship with spouse… all rest.

Then there are the “shadow years”… say, around age 43 thru approximately our early 60s. This is when we importantly decide to answer the critical question, “Who am I?” Why am I here? My purpose beyond “whitewater?” Who does He want me to be?I’ve worked with a trainer for a year. His name is Richard. He’s huge, black, a body builder. When we started in March ’16, our relationship? Well let’s say it was tenuous. My perspective? “

Here’s a big guy, African American, projects an intensity that is, well, actually a little intimidating.” That’s was it. His perspective? “Bob’s just another one of those Buckhead (Atlanta community) guys. Nose in the air, soft. An easy one for me.” I’d pay him. He’d guide me through the workouts, He put me on a new diet. “Bob, fitness is 70% nutrition.”He’d bust my butt… give me a glare here and there. We went through workouts. Distant? Yes… but we talked. Turns out Richard is smart, intelligent, reflective, seeking I think to answer the question, “Who am I?”

Our talks deepened. The distance between us lessened. A little trust showed up as we explored each other’s path, desires, thoughts about life. Richard was/is in his “shadow years.” He’s a good listener. Rare. At 46… his big question, “Who am I?”Richard would talk about society, the challenges in the African American community, people in the apartment complex where his workout space was located. I’d learn a lot from him. Grew physically.My constant message to him? “You are not defined by what’s outside you, Richard. You’re defined by what’s inside you. It’s all about you.

“He resisted at first. I didn’t really believe some of the things he was telling me either. Like that diet being 70% of what would grow me.Today, we’re friends. Share a lot. I trust Richard. I think he trusts me too. I’m twenty six years older than he is. Think I know, “Who I am.” That it’s always about me. But as wise, as astute as Richard is, he’s a work in progress… “Who am I?”

Our dialogue is now key to our time together. Just great. I workout two, three hopefully three times a week. See him more than most of my other friends. Look forward to continuing to do so moving forward.Bottom line? He’s changed my life through our workouts.We’ll continue to learn from each other. He makes me work to be fit. I strive to help him grow, find his answer to the question, “Who Am I”.A wonderful exchange…