The Retirement Myth

Retirement is a myth. I’ve engaged with execs, business owners, even a few friends. Coaching them as they move from a career, a new phase of life… most times to “retirement.” The common story, “If I can just put in a little more time, and get to retirement. I will be free !!”… “Yes!!” Right? No… Wrong.Retirement is a figment of most imaginations. Time to relax, play more golf. Garden, travel, whatever. “Oh, I’m going to sit on a few Boards.” The claims are endless. I concede. Some do “retire” successfully. In reality?… face it, most don’t.

Most “retirees” I know say to themselves, “This is great!” Finally… rest and relaxation. No more grind. They rationalize.It’s been said… you can get through a day without sex, but not a day without a rationalization.

My experience? Retirement is a myth. We never “retire.” We only transition from one phase of life to a next.I have searched for the answer to this question. Why do all the celebrations, “I’m retired!!” seem in some ways a little empty? What I’ve discovered, certainly with my exec friends. They lose the sense of impact. That’s it. The loss of impact. You were in charge, helping others, producing something important.

You were a leader maybe… my CEOs for sure. People depended on you, looked up to you. Complimented you. You mattered. Now? A slight emptiness under all the words, the smiles. “Isn’t this great!” Hmmm… “Who am I… now?It’s all about growth. All about continuing to grow, stay curious. Find new space, interests that fill life vs drain it. How much growth is out there for us? Consider yourself as one grain of sand on every beach in the world, times infinity. That’s how much growth there is for us all to draw on. Growing never ends.But continuing to grow or not is a choice. I believe after years of coaching people into their next phase… when you stop growing, you actually start dying. There are those who leave us too soon after they retire. Loss of identity, impact? May be one reason for this. Don’t know.I’m attending my 50th college reunion soon. My class produced a year book. Pictures, stories about my classmates. I didn’t recognize most of my them. Looked ancient? Well no. But so many looked worn, tired. I immediately wondered. Did the retirement myth get them? Did they stop when they “retired and age more quickly? I may be too judgmental here… we’ll see when I attend the reunion.

I do believe our later years in life if misguided, will impact us not only emotionally but physically too.I’ve met those up in years… gazed and said, “Hey, how are you?!” (What happened to him?) Or, “Wow, you haven’t changed a bit.” (His vitality, energy… great.) To myself… he’s still growing.So what might you do to dispel the “myth” you will face… might face.Take time to define the rung you will move to before you let go of the one in your grasp.

What have you enjoyed so far? What are your passions? Strengths? What are you curious about? Ask friends and family, “What do I do well… not so well? Other questions too. But you have to ask the right questions to get to the answers… “How can I can I put aside the myth of retirement, continue to grow and live a vital life… and not “retire.”