Bars, Planes and Barbershops …
What could I possibly mean by these? Well, I’ve decided to act, behave differently every time I sit at a bar, fly in a plane or get my haircut. What do all these experiences have in common? People. Usually to my right. My left. People I have never met.Previously, I chose never to engage with them … any of them. Assuming kind of a “cigar store Indian” posture. Staring forward. Speechless. I now see bars, planes and barber shops very differently. Those unknown to me were people who also chose to stare, not speak … just like I had for years. But a funny thing happens now. I choose to connect. Reach out lightly … testing their willingness to chat and maybe I’ll learn a little about those I had ignored in the past.“How are you this morning” I might ask. Never really knowing what response I would get. Some choose to “cigar store Indian” it themselves. Sit the re like a statue. A few don’t even reply. Game over. Returned quickly to my own “cigar…“ posture.
But more often I would get a response to my question like, “Good, how are you?” An exchange would follow. Usually, about frequency of visits to the bar, how often do you fly … what do you think the wait time here at the barbershop.Most times I would learn more about these unknowns. What they did for a living. What they thought of Atlanta or the airline. Or more simply, how was their day was going. Didn’t really matter what the content of the chat might be. The key was … I showed firstly I was “interested” in them. I wasn’t focused first on being “interesting” myself … bore my new acquaintance with all my stuff. Just a small gesture of kindness. Whether it be well received or not. Sometimes this drives my family nuts. “There he goes again.” But I’m so Ok with that. Because I’ve met a select one or two who have ended up being friends. A few wanted a bit of coaching. Others (waiters, bar tenders and my barber) say, “Hi!” with a big smile and a hug. Just because I engaged with them differently than others might.
Ah! Case in point! I’m writing this on a plane. Early 7am trip home. The flight attendant is delivering drinks and snacks. Maybe 120 on the flight. I watch her coming down the isle. I’m maybe passenger 50 to be served. I gave her my drink choice. “Good morning!” Spanish accent, warm smile. She gave me my drink for which I simply, so simply said, “Thank you for your warm smile and energy this morning.” She smiled even more brightly, put her hand on my shoulder and said cheerfully, “Oh thank you so much.”
No big deal. Maybe made the remaining 70 passengers a bit more fun for her? Don’t know.What I do know … every encounter with another human being is an opportunity to reach out with a kind gesture or question. However insignificant it may seem. Again not all will respond. Those who do are small little gifts. Gifts I give to myself.
So the next time you are in one of those situations where you and those nearby who sit, stand like “cigar store Indians” … remember. You never know what you’ll get when you reach out to them. But there is no downside in doing so.A random act of kindness can go a long way.