Something as simple as a Diet Coke. Sometimes that’s all it takes. I actually prefer Coke Zero. But it was a Diet Coke (actually it was The Diet Coke) … five years ago that led me to someone I wasn’t looking for. Never really expected to connect with. But I did.

All because of … The Diet Coke.

The occasion? An annual gathering of twenty fraternity brothers. This year in Wilmington, DE. The event is always focused on golf. Tennis as a “stepchild.” Golf is king for three days.

But one day, I had to pass on the golf because of a bad back. My friend, who wasn’t a golfer, and not much of a tennis player either, simply said, “How bout a Diet Coke?”

Had nothing better to do, so we sauntered over to the bar pulled up two stools and began chatting. The usual stuff … “How’s your back?” “This is a great place, isn’t it.”

Then that question that is always so revealing?

“How are you?.” Ninety percent of the time? The answer is, “Great. I’m just great.” But as the Persian mystic and poet Hafiz put it …

“I have a thousand brilliant lies to the question … ‘How are you?’ … A thousand brilliant lies.”

Then every once in awhile when asked, “How are you?” one opens with his truth. Makes himself a little vulnerable. Shares something meaningful. Even though it may be cloaked, softened early on with a little humor.

My friend did just this.

Feelings … failures … relationships … values. More. Oh, these certainly aren’t usual entry points of a conversation. You work to get to them incrementally. Word by word. As trust builds. Dyatically… one to one.

You see. My friend and I had graduated from college in the mid sixties. There had been a forty year gap between graduation and the event in Wilmington. We had known each other as students, frat brothers. Vaguely. That’s all.

At the same time sitting on those stools, there was an almost imperceptible chemistry between us. (Something we would later label as “lingua franca”)

This fueled an early confidence in us both. We could “go there.” Share openly, reciprocally. Tell all … without judgement.

What had we done with ourselves over four decades? What had we learned? What had worked? What hadn’t?  Family, careers, desires … dreams.

You know when someone is truly listening … or not. Turns out we both had learned this art well. More interested in each other … than trying to be interesting to one another. With none of the usual “Mine’s bigger than yours” stuff we’d hear later from some of our other beloved fraternity brothers.

Two, maybe three hours later, we parted. But we knew we’d sparked a connection that would mean much to us both in the time to follow.

There have been innumerable chat sessions since that first one perched on those two stools. Even one wonderful visit to his home in Anisquam, MA described in an earlier post. And a bonus … Our wives enjoy each other too! Back and forth my friend and I go. A love for one another that blends in more with each connection. “Lingua Franca” in action.

We will visit again soon. God willing. We’ll continue to play out this last quarter of our lives in style. We both have health issues. Neither life threatening. But just present enough to make us appreciate one another … more vibrantly. As the journey continues.

Today? I buy lots of Coke Zero. But I always keep one Diet Coke in the fridge to remind me. Friends like George Bird are rare. Friends like me are too!

And to think. This all was birthed by one.

No … The Diet Coke.