Later years in life find me thinking about more the important things. I love remembering people who have given me parts of themselves that have helped change me along the way …helped me grow. Help me know myself a little better. Bob Moore, “Poor” … one of my oldest friends, has done just that.

Fifty year friendships are rare. Very. Nancy and I were talking about one of mine this morning. Poor … aka Bob Moore. Nickname landed on him because he acted like, maybe really never had a dime. Remember him tracking through dorms on a Saturday morning looking for pizza in discarded boxes outside rooms for a stale slice or two. Poor. Made sense to label him, call him Poor.

Been thinking about him off and on in recent months. He suffered a hard, personal setback last year having to send his wife Cally to assisted living. She had contracted Alzheimer’s. Tragic. I feel for him. His being by himself. I love writing about special people I know. Thought about writing about my friend Poor this morning

So here goes …

A fraternity brother of mine from college Robert Adair Moore … Poor, is one of the most interesting characters I’ve known. Smart (really); handsome (really); confident (even cocky); reserved; hard to know. These may be my best way of describing him for starters. I might also throw in that he is wise and intuitive.

Don’t get carried away. Poor is no saint. Things I could share, stories about him are not printable here. Let’s just say he’s had some truly crazy times, done some crazy stuff too, along the way. Much of which is not known to me.

But Poor has distinct qualities common to the many successful people I’ve been privileged to manage, consult with, coach over decades. He grew up having experienced an unusually challenging childhood. Like me he is the son of an alcoholic. His parents divorce when he was still a child. Many accomplished people with this kind of background maintain a slight distance between themselves and others. Childhood, parental divorce, family dynamics can surface this in them. As I cited above, he can be hard to get to know. Sometimes. He combines a confidence with a distance. You don’t get too close to Poor. Most times.

He’s got guts. I will never forget his recounting to a group of us his experiences as a Naval pilot. His not knowing his birth father. Where he was. Who he was. And then letting us know his dad had attended his childhood baseball games never revealing himself to his son. Poor never knew he was in the stands. Took guts just to share these parts of his story.

Poor’s words always carry a lot of weight with me. Others. Why? When Bob Moore speaks, people listen. He’s always so perceptive, so on point.

He’s done a lot. He was a very successful attorney. He served as campaign chairman for John “Jock” McKernan’s successful run for the governorship of the state of Maine. And his final venture as CEO of a large New England energy company went exceedingly well too. People are attracted to Poor. He has a presence. Exudes a “knowing” that I’m sure made him a great leader there.

Yes … Poor has done a lot. But what about Bob Moore the person. Here’s a recount of my relationship with him. What I know, remember. Not sure of the chronology here …

·      He was one of three really visible, cool freshmen in college. Another of the three, Donny, asked me to room with them sophomore year. I felt I was “in.” Now we were four. College? My experience there was better for knowing Poor.

·      Oh, will never forget his dating Christy Wilson, daughter of the legendary billionaire owner of the Buffalo Bills. Poor remembers this story. A little too lengthy to share here. Let’s just say it was so him!

·      Donny, one of the four of us, got cancer and died a few years after graduation. Don’t fully remember the timing. Poor and I reconnected at his funeral. Poignant … defining of the relationship between us then and what would follow.

·      I was an usher in his first wedding. He experienced divorce. He remarried twice.

·      He traveled from Maine to the our home on the Jersey Shore in 1985 with his family to attend my surprise 40th birthday party. Special.

·      Fifteen years passed after my birthday before seeing him again. At a gathering for golf and fun outside Boston. For an event that has been held annually now for twenty years! I see Poor every year at these “Fahey Cups” as they’re known. Amazing. Always look forward to being with him.

·      I’ve visited Poor at his home in Portland, ME. He’s a “Mainer” for sure. This was so clear to me. Loved ripping over waves on the water on the bay in his speed boat there. Our just hangin’ out. The dinner we had one night with Jock, the former Governor and his wife, a famous US Senator, Olympia Snow.

·      Nance and l visited with Poor and Cally at their home in FLA. Great fun. Will not forget my two hour conversation with Cally early one morning there. Learned then what a truly amazing person she is. So tragic she’s so distant today.

·      Cally and Bob traveled from Maine south again a few years ago. This time to visit with Donny’s widow Gail. 40 plus years had passed since Don died. They made the two plus hour trip to CT. Joined me to travel to New Haven for dinner with her. Said a lot about my buddy, Bob Moore. Again.

Love recalling all our history here.

Now here’s a surprising, distinctive memory that contradicts my earlier assertion that Poor is hard to know. I’ve had many … very open talks with him. About past relationships, past wives. Life. While hitting balls before a memorable golf game at Merion GC in Philadelphia. While sitting together by his grille on his porch in FLA. As Nancy said yesterday when I told her I was writing this, “I could listen to Bob for hours. He’s just so interesting.” And he is.

I’ve got to stop. I feel I’m going to embarrass, shock Poor with all this. Let me just say I treasure my friendships. Poor is for sure one of my most notable.

There. I’ve written about him here. Hope he understands when I send him this. Just have some real feelings as I think of him alone.

Writing is my therapy. Preps me for my coaching. Thanks for the material today, Poor.

You’re an amazing guy.