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DISCIPLINE
Orderly or prescribed conduct; an
organized pattern of behavior;
Self control.
One of the most important characteristics of successful people I’ve worked with over decades? Discipline. The propensity, certainty to do what one commits to doing. Simply, doing what you say you’re going to do. We all know for the most part what we need to do, even in most cases how to do it. But it takes discipline to actually get things done.
Decades ago Albert E. N. Gray, a professor at Temple University, conducted a multi year study on what made the most successful … successful.
Here’s what he found.
Successful people form the habit
of doing things that failures don’t
like to do. Don’t do.”
Guilt, excuses, apologies, All the “I’m sorry (s)” … “The dog ate my homework.” I’ve heard em all. People pay me a lot of money to guide them. I’m always amazed how some piss away thousands of dollars with little to show for it. There just are those who are accountable … and those who are not. Separates the “men from the boys.”
One remedy to a lack of discipline during a coaching engagement is the “contract” I make with a coachie. “You can stop our work together at any time. In the middle of a sentence if you choose to. But know this, so can I. If you don’t execute. Don’t do what you say you will do, I can stop too.” It’s about a disciplined path to moving forward. A decision to grow. Or not.
Another key to disciplined behavior is the taking of notes. Writing things down. Why? The weakest pencil stroke is better than the strongest memory!
It’s usually an early indicator of disciplined behavior or not. A coachie takes notes during our sessions or not? Revealing. Few of us have a photographic memory. Most of what we hear, will “drift into the ether” if not grasped.. Like fireflies, thoughts will disappear if not captured in the moment.
I consider myself to be a disciplined person. I may write too much down. But what I’ve found? When I record a thought or an idea, it clears “thought space” in my mind for the next one. Makes me set deadlines, priorities … calendar things to get done. Discipline. I have folders on my computer for each person I coach … save folders for those who’ve moved on. Even years later, a coachie may return to restart their process with me. I never want to begin again from scratch. An integral part of my value is knowing, remembering the details of our earlier work … professionally, personally.
Simply, it all written down or saved on my computer.
This allows me to build a constructive, cumulative process with a coachie. Have the ability to review the past and plan forward. What’s next after two weeks have passed since our last session. Names, commitments, accountabilities. When someone knows you won’t forget, it’s interesting how more disciplined.
They! … become.
Discipline comes in many forms. It’s not a robotic, just a mechanical process. Some are successful working in this fashion. Other are more erratic. They move quickly, ore randomly through their thoughts. Write this or that down. Take a more indirect path that works for them. But my measure is always the result. It’s always the final judge. It’s not about the means … it’s about the end.
We are creatures of free will. Change is a choice, not a matter of capacity. So is being disciplined. But as I began this piece, discipline in whatever form it shows up will always be essential for any process to succeed … coaching or otherwise.