There’s something about an occasional encounter with another that well, how can I best put it … kinda touches your soul. Over dramatic? Maybe a little. But such was the case when I met Paul Assaiante, legendary leader at my alma mater, Trinity College. Over ten years ago.

The occasion? A three hour lunch here in Atlanta. Paul was a member of the Development staff at the time. Was he cultivating me for a million dollar gift? No. We more just talked about life. Good things … gratitude, generosity, character. Connected almost immediately at a spiritual level. Magic? Yes. Happens rarely with me. Happened that day. Thus, my desire to share this piece with you here about my friend Paul.

“Coach” Paul is iconic in the sports world for his almost mystical success with the collegiate squash program at Trinity. It’s not my purpose to recount all Paul’s accomplishments here. Go Google “Assaiante” for these. Rather, I want to share a few things about Paul the man that I remember beyond his extraordinary coaching career at Trinity. Things far more important in my view than all those wins.

First, the lunch. You know when an “energy” between two people unexplainably shows up. Such was the case ten years ago with us. Can’t even remember the content of all we shared that day. Don’t need to. Just recall vividly that it was special. Energetic, spiritual. Would put this guy prominently on my “map” … permanently.

Paul was in the midst of reaching heights as a leader in the sports world. But his emerging profile had little to do with our connection that day. We saw each other more as kindred souls, seeing life in very similar ways. Came away from my time with him knowing I’d met someone unique. We parted as we always do … with an embrace.

Fast forward a few years later to an annual gathering here of the Trinity Club of Atlanta at the prestigious Piedmont Driving Club. Normally attended by twenty or thirty alumni, this meeting had attracted a packed ballroom of hundreds. “What’s going on here?!” Then from the corner of the room, “Hey, Bricks!” It was “Coach.” He was speaking to the large group assembled. By now his legend was rising. Thus the packed house to hear him speak. He was there to talk about squash. Squash and life. You could hear a pin drop as “coach” took us all through experiences he’d enjoyed with his kids. Who he was. What he taught. All he learned. Go read his great book, Run to the Roar for a vibrant description of what I’m getting at here. Turns out Paul was a gifted speaker. His real gift? … he always gave you so much more of his heart than his head.

I’ve been a member of a group of twenty fraternity brothers who gather every year for friendship, golf … fun. Not long ago our event was held in Portland, ME. We needed a dinner speaker. “How ‘bout the Coach! He’d be great!”

I called Paul. Remember his reply so clearly. “Bricks, for you? Anything.”

Now remember … I only see this guy maybe once a year. A call every once in a while, about goings on at the College. But that’s it. “Bricks, for you? Anything.” That’s simply who Paul Assaiante is.

Not the end of this story. Portland is a three hr. drive from Hartford. Did he make the trip to speak to us? Yep. Drove up and drove back … that night. Overwhelmed, I could not imagine, believe how much “anything” really meant! But that’s simply who Paul is.

One last thing. A moment I’ll not forget. Remind Coach of it often. The question was asked during our evening with him in ME. “Coach, are you going to write another book?” With all the acclaim, the renown. Seventeen national squash titles … here’s what he said.

“Guys, my next book will be about ‘Love.’” Love? Yes, love.

He elaborated (I paraphrase here) … “All the wins, all the kids who have come through the program. Success was as much about love … love for the sport, for one another. A commitment and dedication that can only truly exist through the love in us all.”

A book about “Love.” The second he uttered the words, remembrance of our lunch years ago came to me. Our time together that day had been about love. Unspoken … both of us unaware at the time. I keep buggin’ him … “When you gonna write the book, Coach?”

Paul Assaiante was inducted into the College Squash Hall of Fame last week. I’ll join with the throngs who celebrate the numbers. The 252 consecutive winning squash matches … an NCAA record. All the other hard to imagine stats.

But far more, I’ll remember meeting a life long friend one day. Someone who helped me learn something beyond winning in life.

In the end … whatever it be. Love will be at the center of our relationship.

Thanks, my dear friend, Paul …  so well done.