The following is a piece I recently wrote for a good friend who is writing a book. He asked me to reflect. Answer key questions about the condition of being “bored.” The pluses … the minuses. How to react if you find yourself “bored.”

How do you stave off boredom in your life?

“Boredom” is not in my vocabulary.

I rarely think about it. But let’s for the sake of this question, imagine that I am bored. How would I stave it off?

·      Keep swimming

“How does a shark die?” Simple, “It stops swimming.”

·      Act

How else might I stave off boredom? If I lament that little if anything is going on? I try to imagine being bored is actually an invitation for me to act. After all … when bored the options are endless. Not much if anything is going on? Right? Take your pick … and act!

Try the best you can. But also know … you don’t need to be your best you. You only need to be better than you were before. Staving off boredom is an incremental process.

·      Turn to gratitude.

Put my “boredom” in perspective. Start by appreciating a few smaller things first. The sun on my face … a good joke … a kind eye. These ever so slightly move me to a better place … step by step.

A phrase from a book written in 1901 by James Allen always comes to mind … “As a man thinketh, so shall he be.” Appreciating the blessings you enjoy? Good thoughts.

Thus… Staving off boredom.

·      Connect with another.

A friend, a family member or more simply … the valet at the restaurant. The clerk at Publix. Or a person I pass on a sidewalk. Reach out to them. The warmth from these exchanges with another fuel me … Boredom be gone.

·      Avoid monotony

During my early, working years … life seemed to run on autopilot. I solved problems. I hired people. I created strategies. And then! I solved more problems. I hired more people. And I created more strategies!! My own version of “Groundhog Day.” Just a blur of activity. Look at me. See how busy I am?! The reality? This “treadmill” was a disguised form of boredom. I had to pause. Assess my perspective. What I found? A lot of repetitive action lacking variety. So! Change things up. Avoid monotony.

·      Head Up!

Do not hang your head, Bob. Feel sorry for yourself. Hold it up. Notice what thoughts come to you when you do. Hmm … Try this. Try that. You’re looking up creates a more constructive, positive vibe.

Other thoughts …

l choose to lead my life. Not just manage it. Seek, explore. Be curious, always. Be open; be vulnerable. Trust my gut. Deepen key relationships. Create new things that constantly refresh and energize me. Focus on stuff I am passionate about. Writing … coaching … golf (kinda) … ever finding more, uncovering more about “me.”

When in conversation I always want to be more interested … than trying to be interesting. Listening is learning. You learn little while you’re talking.

Oh, I have my losses. But I try never to suffer them. Rather see them as challenges. Through six specific changes in my business career, it has become clear to me that my “successes” in business were each preceded by a fall or failure.

I never want to be a victim. Dwell on … “if only?” … “why me” … “not fair.” I try to always take responsibility. Facing a problem or conflict? It’s all about me. I cannot change others. I can only change me. I try to live each day excuse free. Enjoy this miraculous life I have. On a very personal note? My latest challenge? Kidney disease. Dwell on it. Lament? Think negatively? Not on my agenda. The Lord gives me good; He gives me bad. He never gives me wrong.

I have a “Life Sentence” It is simple but defining … I help people grow so they will go forth and help others grow. This is my core purpose.

I don’t fear death. I believe I am a spiritual being living a human experience. Not a human being living a spiritual experience. My motto? “Run for the tape” Keep going for as long as my Lord allows me to. And look forward to the next “journey.”

My constant search for intimacy. In my relationships with my wife, my daughters, my grandchildren, a few friends. Those I coach. And my God. Being openly vulnerable. Expressing true feelings. All this deepens intimate connections with key relationships.

No, I have no problem staving off boredom.

Next question?

What is the opposite of boredom in your opinion?

Enchantment. Why? Because to be enchanted is to magically be intoxicated with the wonderment of life. The ocean … enchants me. A tender kiss … enchants me. Tears of joy … enchant me. I cherish experiences like these … and more. The lens through which I see my life, defines me. I choose to be enchanted. The opposite of boredom.

Who is the least bored person you know/have known? Why this individual?

Surprise? … Me. Because I know me best. I have spent my later years serving as a life coach. People ask often, “Bricks, when are you going to ‘get off the grind?’” My reply, “If you were on a 365-day vacation and you loved Mondays, would you stop?” I have a passion for what I do. Because of all I have shared above … just no doubt. I am the least bored person I have ever known.

What words come to mind when you hear the phrase finishing well?

Smiling… (always) … Accepting (of missteps.) Being emotionally driven (heightened feeling, sensitivity) Strengthening beliefs (values, integrity, faith) Loving (well … more completely.)
Being self aware (learning, asking the question, (Who am I called to be?) Being curious, always.

Why do you believe it is important to finish well?

Most of life is filled with doing … creating … acquiring. Finishing well is about distributing, giving back all I have, to others. This is the height of fulfillment. Taking all the Lord has “loaned” me over my years and giving it back. I picture it this way …

Moisture first builds in the clouds. Once the clouds are full …the rain pours down. Drops cascade down on the grasses, the plants, all that lives … nourishing growth. Such is the process of distributing the knowledge, the wisdom gifted to me over decades. Finishing well? Is not about resume … accomplishments. More about love … always. Expressing it, sharing it with others. Because in the final resolve? Love is all there is.

The idea of “finishing” connotes to me an ending. I do not see it this way. I see life as being in never-ending motion. It is transitory. The love God … is love not as a noun … but love as a verb. This verb is reflexive as well as transitive. Thus, I embrace “finishing” more as a pathway than a destination.

What does finishing well look like to you?

Staying the Course! Running for the “tape.” Always seeking the new future ahead while acknowledging, thanking God for the path he has led me on. At age 79 … I am still excited about new opportunities. They keep coming! I want to “finish” not wanting for anything. Material things primarily. Direct my thoughts and feeling toward others, learning more, uncovering more of “me.” I only see continual transition >>> growing ’til I “finish.”

Who comes to mind when you think of someone who has finished well in all aspects of their life?

One person. A dear friend, John, who was thirteen years me senior. Wealthy … you would never know it when being around him. Accomplished … you would never know it. One of the best listeners I’ve ever known. A rare quality today. A kind, generous southern gentleman. He died at age 93. On his death bed, he told me this …

Bobby, leaving this earth is not the end. It is only the beginning. Let me tell you what I mean. Picture a small rowboat tied up to a dock … on a piling at the edge of a serene lake. It’s dawn. Slowly an invisible hand reaches out and unties the boat from its mooring. Then the hand slightly nudges the boat … and it drifts out onto the lake … gradually disappearing on the horizon. That is how I see my passing, Bobby. That is how l view leaving this life.

As I have reflected on my own mortality, I hold this picture in my heart. Remember the quality of the life he led. I remember the impact John’s example had on the many he touched during his lifetime. If “finishing well” means getting to the finish line, my friend pushed himself to get there. More nobly than anyone I have ever known.

To think one has “finished well in all aspects of their life” may yield an unhealthy hubris that can limit appreciation of what finishing well really means.

John once asked me this question. Bobby, do you think I have had enough impact during my lifetime. I remember taking a very deep breath. Here was a man who clearly had more impact on others than anyone I ever knew. And he seemed not to know it? Then it hit me. Those I have known who have had the most impact during their lives, are the last to know it. The last to acknowledge it. Humility flows. Unhealthy hubris never surfaces.

John did not finish well in all aspects of his life. I don’t think anyone does. We all misfire here and there. Perfection is not within our reach. In fact, the qualities of imperfection make one more appealing. More human.

Indeed John “finished well.” More than anyone I have ever known.

What traits did they, do they possess?

Traits of those who have finished well? … they usually look younger than their age; have an energy, a distinctive presence. They are humble (don’t talk about themselves), life is less about them. More about others. They are givers … materially, spiritually. They are loving, lovable. Strength of character abounds; they ask more questions … than trying to have all the answers. Could go on. But these are just some of key the traits I have observed.

What is the biggest hurdle to finishing well in your opinion?

Procrastination is opportunities’s natural assassin. Delay in letting go … of a career, or pattern of living one has been on for a long time. Unaware that “success” in moving on, will be rewarding in diverse, and even more rewarding ways. Golf four times a week won’t do it. Reliving the past during martini lunches won’t do it. Defining your most productive future will. There is a reason the windshield is larger than the rear-view mirror. Defining your future is hard work. Clearly seeing the next “rung” of your life … before you letting go of the one, you are currently on? Essential. The biggest hurdle to finishing well.

What keeps you focused and prioritized in life’s navigational journey?

My personal value system. My faith. The daily example I want to set for my children and grandchildren. Appreciating that anytime I reach out to someone else … I receive more in return. I have had a coach for 23 years. He has been a beacon, nourishing partner for me all these years …  I found a long time ago that “the mirror is a terrible accountability partner.” Listening, honoring my coach’s reflections, others’ opinions has helped me navigate life more smoothly.

Embrace all the Lord sends my way. All the wins. All the losses. They are all His blessings … whether they appear at the time to be fair or unfair. And then … live non judgmentally. I am not the center of the universe. And then … choose to live love centered days … hours. After much hard work … I know much of who I am. And then … hopefully I will be prepared, to finish well.