“Selfishness”
“Selfishness”
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A revered friend of mine passed away last year. Most of us fear dying or getting seriously illness. He knew he was going to die. His cancer was terminal. I flew to Philadelphia last summer a few months before he died to essentially say goodbye. He was one of the most admired people in the city. But less well known. He wasn’t interested in profile. We shared a golf cart one day at his club and just talked.
“Bobby, I’ve had a wonderful life.” I had difficulty responding. “What emotion captures your spirit now as you say that?”, I asked. A little bold of me? No. He looked at me and smiled, “Selfishness” You kidding me? One of the kindest, giving people I’ve ever known. Selfishness? Where did that come from?
He went on. “Bobby, making someone smile … a friend laugh. Holding the hand of one in the hospital who couldn’t believe I visited them. Making a decision to attend a funeral when it’s beyond your busy schedule. Think of the countless times someone is of service to you. At the food store, at a restaurant. Just a simple ‘What’s your name. You just do this so well!’ … It can just make such a difference in someone’s day.
He went on …
“Those little ‘selfish’ acts of kindness. Moments you reach out to another. Show interest. Amazing how many of these people remember you when you return. Weeks, even months later. Now, here’s the ‘selfishness’ in all of this. One gesture, one hand, one hello with a smile? Whatever this might mean to the person it front of me? It means three times more to me. The ration is 1 to 3. One act of kindness returns, feeds me three times over. How could you not want as much of this as you can get? Be totally ‘selfish’”
One of the greatest lessons I ever learned about the power of connecting. I’ve become very “selfish” in my later years. A week after David Montgomery died 5,000 people attended his memorial service. Attended by a throng of those who had been blessed by one of his loving gestures. His “selfishness.”
At this time of greatest challenge, I think of my friend. How he would handle the fear and anxiety he’d be faced with. And he would. I’m betting he would be more “selfish” than ever. Realizing at a time like this that ratio might move from 1 to 3, to 1-10.
He’d be reaching out more than ever, “selfishly.”
2 Comments
I was grabbed by your post when I read it this morning and moved to comment on it. The reason that it caught me was your use of the word “selfish”. I tend to have a visceral feeling when I observe selfishness and yet I totally get where you are coming from when you use it here because you are always coming from your heart. It’s interesting that one of the principles of life is Give more, Get more. And I sensed with Monty and also part of the law of giving and receiving is to always be giving without the expectation of reciprocity. And as you point out so well it will come back to you, but that is never the motivator. I didn’t know Monty as well many, but my sense was he was always just being himself. A loving , giving soul. I’ve been learning that when looking at this from an energy point of view that so many are so stuck in their lower energy centers or chakras and that their heart chakras are not open or available for putting out any selfless energy. Thanks for you post my friend Love Davidps check out my blog address listed here, I decided to post 1 original and repost 3 from Dr. Gary Samuelson
Bob, how wonderful. This is the essence of life. When we can remove ourselves out of being number one all the time and take a moment to do the little things you mentioned life becomes much fuller. It is what our Lord taught us to do. To die to self says yes to life eternal. Blessings to all.