My Aunt Sis died yesterday. Sadness for sure. But at 90? Good for her. Wow! Did the memories flood in as I talked on my phone … to my brother, my sister, my cousins. The word that springs to my mind as I remember her … “elegant” Was she ever. Never really knew her well despite how memorable her presence was at all our family gatherings in Philadelphia. Over decades. Aunt Sis was refined … always so gracious, welcoming. I remember some challenges in laws had marrying into the family on my mom’s side … the Ziesing clan. I heard stories she did. Know my dad did. But I always saw my Aunt Sis so together. Formal. Again always just so elegant. Had to work through a hard life at times with my dear Uncle Bobby … my namesake, my god father. He like my mother was an alcoholic.

I’m sure she had other issues too . Her kids, my five cousins knew about them. But all I ever saw was her constancy. Her beauty. That “twinkle” in her eye. Her loyalty to family. All those Holiday celebrations. My sisters “coming out” party.  She hosted them all. One funny. It was Christmas at her retirement home … maybe ten, fifteen years ago. We had traveled up to see family. I was sitting next to my aunt at dinner. Felt her listening, seemingly very interested in what I had to say. When I asked her to pass the salt? She simply replied,  “Oh, it’s about 6:30.”  Oopsy … it was then I realized my Aunt Sis had a bit of a hearing problem. No matter. Same wonderful smile. Same elegant touch. My aunt was the last living member of my mom and dad’s generation. A generation not defined as much by the love they openly expressed toward one another. Just not done in those days. Loyalty, tradition more defined their connection.

But even though all twenty four immediate members of our family scattered over the years … we’ve stuck together. Loving one another? We remain committed to, appreciative of what we all had … what it meant be part of the family. Rare for sure.

We will all come together in Philadelphia soon … for probably one last time. We’ll all celebrate my aunt’s life. The hugs. The tears. And when eyes connect? The memories will rush in. For us all. All the loyalty … all the family history. In which my Aunt Sis had such a large presence. And yes as I really rethink? … all the love we have had for each other too … over all these years.Expressed in our own unique way.

God speed Aunt Sis … well done.