Back and forth … back and forth … back and forth.Reciprocal things. A metronome. A swaying branch on a tree. A swing. An unforgettable, repeating melody.So many things move slowly back and forth, so rhythmically show beauty. The symmetry in life. Call it reciprocity.

Nancy and I had dinner with two dear friends from NJ two weeks ago. Hadn’t seen them for years. Met them on a trip we all took to Cuba. Couldn’t fully remember why … but we just “clicked” on the trip. Laughs, conversation. All the stuff that makes relationships work. We developed a true friendship in a short time together. When we met them again here, no time had passed. Laughs, conversation. Just a lot of the fun we had enjoyed before.When I left them after dinner I thought. Think. What is it about relationships like this that makes them work so well? I came to what was actually a very simple conclusion. Reciprocity. The relationship had balance. Was full of lots of back and forth.

Let me explain …My guy friend is a writer. Had cancer, and is now cancer free. He is a political junkie. Voracious reader. Was editor of a major newspaper. Is writing a book about magical experiences he had with his father … a famous sports agent for people like Mike Tyson, Mickey Mantle. I learned so much about him. And as we talked, he learned so much about me. We went back and forth. Him offering a thought. Me probing further, questioning deeper to understand his opinion, reflection. I said something and he did the same. Back and forth we went. Funny analogy, but it comes to mind. Think of a saw working it’s way through a log. Back and forth. Back and forth. Progress. Deeper and deeper the saw goes. Back and forth.Such is the stuff of nourishing, valued relationships. Giving a damn about another. Enough to really want to know someone. Reach out to them. Enjoying them so while they’re doing the same with you.God knows the world is filled with relationships that are more one sided. You’re thinking about a few right now, aren’t you. Far from reciprocal. Me, me, all about me. Got it. Your eyes glaze as one spills his guts about, of course … him. 90% about him … Maybe 10% about you.

The next time you meet with someone, check in with yourself. What’s the content, the balance in the conversation? Is it too much about him/her? You? Or is there sincere depth. Questioning that shows interest. Respect for the one sitting across from you.Back and forth … back and forth. Reciprocity. Just another way we can do … and be, better.