How does a shark die? It stops swimming. Hard to think we resemble this gruesome creature. But in a way many of us do. We are always “swimming.” A daily refrain I hear. “Oh, I’m just so busy!” Don’t get me wrong. Much of busy is good. Necessary! We just have to get things done. But when I hear someone tell me how “busy” they are? It sounds at times like a comparison. That they’re just so much busier than others. Look at me. My life is so full. I’ve written before about the difference between accomplishments and achievements. Accomplishments are resume items. Things we “do” that fuels the ego. Look at me stuff. Certainly accomplishments are defining. Important. But only with perspective. Achievements on the other hand are things you experience. Things that change you. Mine? Realizing that all that exists. Trees, rain, sun, stars in the firmament. Love of of family. Nourishing relationships. All confirm for me the presence, the existence of God. Spiritual realities that are the essence of life. These are experiences. As I contemplate them. Internalize them. I am changed. Refocused on things that truly matter. Things I really don’t have to “do” anything about. They are blessings. They are just there. I can just “be” with them.
Let me share a personal admission. Not long ago I was visiting my oldest daughter and her family in CT. We were casually talking. Can’t recall exactly about what. And she simply said, “But dad you weren’t around much.” Wow! I’ve always prided myself as a good father. But this brief statement has stuck with me. Actually inspired me to write this piece.“ … you weren’t around much” As I thought back there were so many wonderful family memories. But there were also times when my three girls would recount an experience the four of us had. They would revisit it. Laugh and remember it fondly. And I would draw a blank. Even though I had been right there. Right there with them? I could not remember a second of it. Why? Because “I was just so busy.” … really wasn’t present enough.
“Doing” … again vital, necessary. But then there is “Being.” The times … the “spaces” in time when we pause amidst life’s flurry … (while sounding all those “notes” everyday) … and just “be.” Quietly. Calmly. Slowly. It’s 3am. Going to bed at 7:30pm … yes 7:30. Allows me to just “be” in the mornings. Be quiet. Most times I just listen to myself, talk to myself. Write my Blog. Reflect on the previous day. Meditate. Be open to receive “messages” … and I do … that guide me to love life. Not about the things I’ve done. But more the things I’ve experienced while just “being.”
Yesterday a dear friend of mine who’s an Episcopal priest sent me a sermon he gave recently with this note for me … “From having watched you live your life, you in part inspired the sermon that I preached last Sunday,”
A gift. From a dear friend I have reconnected with in recent years. By both of us just “being” there with one another.
He wrote …
I believe “being” rests the soul. Effects our health. Inspires optimism. Slows us to reflect on our appreciation of the “now” … really all we have. “Doing” is key for sure. But join it with just “Being.” An ultimate combination that can make all our “busyness” more meaningful. Our lives so much more enriched.