Yesterday I read an eighty year study at Harvard on “happiness.” Involved a couple of thousand men, women. What makes one happy? Riches … accomplishments … pride … status. All the things we strive for. Are these really key to what makes us truly happy? Don’t think so. The key? According to Harvard. Nourishing, lasting relationships. “Happiness” in life is so fueled by the health of our relationships with one another. Such was the conclusion of the eighty years of Harvard research. Simple. Direct.

Made me think about mine. My relationships? They exist at different levels. Social. Business. Family. The Harvard study I mention led me to focus on the more intimate relationships I am blessed with. You know. Those special people in my life I cherish most. How do they impact me?

First, I’ve noticed a common trait that surfaces when I “connect” with one I care for in a special way. My eyes moisten. Well up a bit. A feeling of joy comes over me. By just being with them. Flowing conversation. Loving eye contact. A calming voice. Always some laughter. Serious stuff. Nothing stuff. A blend. Always come away with a sense, a feeling of fulfillment. Wanting more of them. Those watering eyes of mine may be most telling. “I always am so fortunate to be with —— always.”

The Harvard study went much further on in it’s study of the value of lasting relationships. There was the physiology. How nourishing relationships promote good health. The impact they have on our psyche, our composure, our brain function … even our physical appearance. In essence the study boldly posited that relationships are even the key to longevity. Youth. Memory. Alertness. Eighty years of research. Wow! A couple thousand participants. Seems like a credible study to me.

The people conducting the research admitted they expected a much more thorough, complex “Harvard” like result from the work conducted. After all, this was Harvard. Surely, the conclusions had to be more sophisticated. Maybe a large bound report. Not the case. Healthy lasting relationships were the keys to happiness in life.

Again to my amazement. One thought said all. Beautifully.
The key ingredient in living happily through life here? … lasting relationships.

So, are some of the God given blessings in our lives actually this straight forward? Right before our eyes. So simple. It’s human to make life complex. More entangled than it’s meant to be. Our connections with one another simply, elegantly can define a happy life.

I asked my coach years ago after our first decade or so together, “What’s the purpose of all we’ve done here over all these years? Where are we going?”

“Bob, all we ever do in our work together is … arm and arm … move closer and closer to ‘love.’ Move closer and closer to Love. With pinpoint accuracy he had defined it for me. The ultimate purpose of life. Reach for, move toward … Love. Simply … beautifully. And one of the irreplaceable vehicles needed to get there. Lasting relationships.

Happiness … Success … Moving toward Love. So clear. So revealing.
And lasting relationships with others “lubricate.” it all.

Thank you Harvard.