Can there be a more special moment than watching my granddaughter spontaneously show her “feelings” while on the ocean …
Many years ago my coach told me, “Bob you don’t really feel.” Huh? I can cry at a Ford commercial. “No” he said. “You, most of us get emotional. We don’t really feel. Feelings and emotions are different.” I’ve since learned he was right … here’s how. Emotions are primarily our response to outside stimuli. Movies, Hillary Clinton speeches, reading a good book. Feelings on the other hand are more internal. More heart felt … Death of a loved one. Loss of a romantic relationship. Things that rock our being. Less surface. More visceral. I had a conversation with a friend recently. Actually … a coaching moment. He was having a number of personal issues that were really weighing heavily on him. The most pressing was the death of his mother in law. The impact this had had on his entire family.

“We’ve all gone numb. We can’t seem to move on.” I told him the best thing he could do, all his family should do was truly feel. Feel their feelings. Draw deep within and feel. Don’t just emote.This is not an easy process to describe, let alone actually pull off. But truly feeling your feelings is one of the most important aspects of personal growth one can experience. Feeling amplifies sensitivity, empathy, even will make you a better listener. Helps you connect with others more genuinely.

When you feel you reach into the deepest part of you. Others will feel your sincerity. Believe me it can be infectious. I used to do a lot of public speaking. Sometimes my speeches went well. Sometimes not. What I discovered was the times they didn’t work, I was mostly emotional. Excited, tense, energetic. But things were different when I concentrated on how I “felt” my message. Projected from my heart vs my head. It was as though each member of my audience was in front of me … one on one. My feelings (energy really) actually connected with each person in the room. Resulting in a successful event.

So think about it the next time you experience a rush or occasion when emotions show up. Will you emote. Or will you truly try to embrace the moment … allow your emotions to translate to deeper feelings. Takes practice. But I think you will find this to be very revealing … fulfilling.