We’ve all heard the phrase “idle” threats. Whether your raising a child or training a dog … these don’t work. I’ve worked with business leaders who bark at their people constantly. They think, “The more often … the louder I shout my commands. The more they’ll obey and change.”

Of course you know where I’m going here. Regardless of the frustrations, anger. Constant outbursts don’t work. In fact these will most times stoke fear in others. 

Result will be more errors, mistakes than normal that will only fuel the fire. Becomes a vicious cycle of anger, outburst, fear, poor performance … more anger. On and on.

 So, what’s the alternative? 

I’ll refer to two of our past Presidents. Ronald Reagan and John F. Kennedy. They both used what I call “the gun in the drawer” during their presidencies. 

Reagan was for the most part measured, even tempered. Managed his emotions well. But there were two signature times when he blew his guts out. Pulled his gun out. These remain two of the most memorable events of his presidency.

 The first time. Remember those traffic controllers who tried to stiff arm Reagan with a strike that would have crippled air travel? Uncharacteristically, he pulled the “gun out of the drawer.” …  “Any traffic controller who doesn’t show up for work tomorrow, will be terminated!” Reagan rarely raised his voice. But he did here. No idle threat. Done. The strike was averted. 

The second time. Remember? “Mr. Gorbachev! Tear down this wall!” I need not elaborate here.

John Kennedy was a man of equal patience. The Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962 tested his courage, his mettle. He stared down Nikita Khrushchev and the Russians as they tried secretly to move missiles into Cuba. Putting the eastern part of the US into range of nuclear attack. Kennedy’s gun came out of the drawer.

 The “gun” behavior has been used often by great leaders. Jesus turned the tables over in the temple didn’t he! Remember? Rare for him. But immensely impactful. 

 Leaders, any of us really, will have an audience. Some we need to reach. Influence. They may, work with us, look up to us. Our kids, friends. Grandkids! Just people in our sphere we need to engage. Lead. The words you use when communicating have weight. A lot more than you realize. No heat, intensity is needed to get your message across. Just eye contact … deliver your message? Done.

 Paradoxically, silence may send the “loudest” message of all. The mere knowing there’s a “gun in the drawer.” The anticipation it might show up? No words needed. Your audience will know. Message sent … message received. “He stared down his opponent.” comes to mind.

 The next time you connect with one, two or a hundred people you have influence with? Pick your spots. Anger, overreacting? You’ll ultimately be, well … firing blanks. Keep the “gun in the drawer.” And like Reagan and Kennedy. 

Get it done.