Life is like a movie playing before your eyes.  Sounding in your ears. Senses … that serve as a lens focusing our perception of what’s going on at any given moment.

Is the “movie” simply what we see? What is immutable? Something over which we have no control? Has the script already been written?

Well, no. Thus the subject of this piece.

When I moved from CT to Atlanta in 1990, I was anxious. I wondered why. Then one day it came to me. Moving from the North to the South would be a real cultural change. The North and South were so different, I thought. This concerned me.

So, one day I had lunch with a mentor. An old friend of mine I met with for advice, a mental boost from time to time. I often felt lonely while leading my business in CT. He was a great sounding board. Helped restore my confidence at times. Always had great perspectives. A wisdom guy.

“I need your help with something, Karl. I’m moving to Atlanta to build another business. I’m concerned. People in the South are much slower. And I think they’re not quite as smart as we up here in the North are. I’m not sure I’m going to relate to them well. Business life there may be so different and difficult.”

Now Karl is one of the great listeners on earth. He never provides an instant response to any question. Lifting his eyes over his reading glasses, he looked at me intently, paused for five seconds or so and simply said this … 

“Bricks? If that’s how you see them? That’s how they’ll be.”

His words rung in my mind. If that’s how you see them … that’s how they’ll be. The Lens. My lens would determine how I choose to see my new home. The people there. The movie would play out. It was up to me to write the script. What I saw through my lens was about me. Not about the difference between North and South.

What a comfort Karl’s wisdom provided. My lens would determine all.

Such an important life lesson for me. For you. Changes, our attitude, our perception of life experiences are all choices we make. We choose the lens through which we see things. I remembered another thing Karl reminded me of once. “Either you see things are bad? Or you see things are good. Either way you’re right,”

We moved to Atlanta a month after my lunch with Karl. “Man, were my new clients and friends great. They may live life a little “slower” in the South … but wonderfully, I found they live life a bit “softer” than my friends up North. Such an unexpected plus.

Helping people change. This is my life mission. I currently have eight I coach. One of the most effective coaching tools I employ goes like this. My coachie will be faced with a challenge. Many times a very daunting one. His first reaction? “I can’t possibly do this. I just can’t”

My response, “You need to refocus your lens. Understand this. You’re viewing the challenge as a climb up an impossibly steep hill. The reality? If your lens is focused properly … it’s like piecing a veil and simply walking through it.”

How many times have you faced something … saying to yourself, “Oh, I could never do that!” But somehow you decide to take the risk. You venture out and try. Not knowing what the ultimate the outcome will be. Amazingly, you find you were wrong. This was doable. The challenge wasn’t nearly as difficult as you had thought. Your illusion of something impossible had been a perception that wasn’t the reality.

You had refocused your lens … and grew the strength to prevail.  What a wonderful life lesson.

The message here?

I’m not suggested you take on all challenges recklessly. Calculated risk is always preferable. But “either you think you can or you think you can’t.” Change things by changing your attitude of mind. Refocus the lens through which you view challenges. The script playing before your eyes will in large part be written depending on the focus of the lens you choose.