“What a great time,”A simple phrase Nancy and I share when being with another couple. Hard to find two people you both like. Sound familiar. Usually like either lemon or lemonade. But you know what’s usually key to having a good time with two others? A mutual exchange of ideas, questions, interest in learning about each other. Being interested vs being just interesting.

We had one of these experiences this past weekend. Two we really didn’t know that well. Well, no. I know him like a brother. But Nance had never met her. Always a little relationship tension when you first meet someone. In this case it took about a millisecond. Our lady guest is pretty special.We spent about 24 hours together. Went to an affair that evening. Time flew by. Ease. Fun. Learned a lot about each other. You know. “What a great time,” Think about experiences you’ve had like this. So enjoyable. Not all that usual … unfortunately. We’ll see them again. Loved being with them.

Now here’s the opposite. Sorry for the little bucket dump here …More usual than not. “Me, me, me!!” After 10 minutes of hearing about them? “Why not just send us the audiotapes.” “Here’s a megaphone.” Really. Ever felt your eyes glaze over? That “check please” urge? What happens? Your companions for the evening leave knowing not a syllable about you. You could write their autobiography. The worst one of these was a time when the husband had halitosis and adenoid problems both. Ever had to breathe through your mouth for 90 minutes? Ugh!

Why do some do this? Self absorption? Narcissistic tendencies. Lack of empathy … awareness. Maybe all of these. Don’t really know. Just do know these times are mostly a casting of seeds that fall on barren soil. Opposites attract. Usually. In this case they repel one another. Had to get that out. Back to the great times. Lots of great questions about what you just said. Honoring what you offered. Curious. Interested in your thought, your experience. Not simply sitting there giving you that, “Ears closed. Can’t wait to tell you more about me!” feeling.

Finally I will share with you the ultimate best time I ever had with another. A lady I coached for a year and a half. Probing questions. From us both. In fact there were times, many times I felt she was coaching me. Then one day this. She said, “Why is it when you and I talk, I feel as though we are “One.” So little separation between us. Really struck me. She was lost, I was lost in our conversation. Intimate. Such a great time.

You get it. By the way. I sent my guest with the breathing problem a bottle of Binaca. Haven’t heard from him.