It’s taken me some time to learn that coaching is far more art than science. Hard to mechanize, structure. Three I coach currently have been with me for 8, 9 and 10 years respectively. Longer than the pursuit of any graduate or doctoral degree. You would think we’d run out of material… stuff to work for on. Not so. Because personal growth is infinite there is always something new to uncover. Always my need to respond to the “new” person in front me … as he or she evolves.

We travel together along the journey guided by their map unfolding before us. Regardless of the positive changes and learnings they embrace, each I coach will invariably at times show up … down, subdued. Melancholy. An essential mind state for anyone navigating a healthy growth path. I usually begin a session when one is down… in this way.“On a scale of 1-10… where’s your emotional ‘Ometer’?”Basically, how is he or she feeling? 6 or less? We must pay attention to this first before going anywhere else. Or an effective process cannot move further.

Have you ever been a 6 or less emotionally? A setback, a strained relationship, just malaise … a bit blue? Off?Here’s an exercise I’ve employed over the years that is designed to help you when 6 less shows up. I call it… “Your 3x5s”

This is how it goes. Get a set of 3×5 cards. On each write down something you’ve accomplished in life that you are proud of, makes you feel good as you recall it… even cherish. Record on others those things you value most. Brag on yourself a bit. Surface all the good. Wow! Impressive. Gratitude for your blessings. As you do, watch your mood change, your “Ometer” rise.

Of course the 3×5 cards vary with each persons exercise. Because each of us is unique… one of a kind. I always learn things about my guys and gals I never knew. One of the indicators of a life well lead? Humility. Usually not talking about oneself much. But do it here!My guys don’t usually drop a lot of “dimes” on me. You know, I’m this… I did that. The “look at me” talk.The 3×5 gives you permission to go ahead. Buff those fingernails. Put that chest out. Let the pride flow. On your 3×5 cards. Leadership roles… depths overcome… the people you love, who love you… impact you’ve had on others. Just to cite a few.

Our human spirit allows us to reflect. A gift when we do.So take a stack of 3x5s… with your spouse, your family, a good friend/friends. Business associates. Your coach if you have one. Have them record their 3x5s too. Compare. You’ll learn things about each other you never knew. Even surface things about yourself you haven’t recalled in years.It will be a celebration, permission of sorts to fluff your feathers… “put on the dog” for a change. Not that you’re not better than others. But that you’re different… as they are too.Interestingly, those most committed to their growth have the most cards.

Save these. And the next time you find yourself at 6 or less? Pull em out. Read and savor each. Quietly… to truly absorb the feelings.Normally an effective boost in emotional energy and spirit will fill you.Try it.