One key when coaching is what I call one’s “preferred future.” Questions like “Who am I?” … “Where am I going?” … “What am I called to do?” I believe you eventually become what you think about. So define it. Visualize it. Write it down. Get clear about where you’re headed in life. Why? Because, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”Where might you start to craft your “preferred future?” I offered in an earlier piece that the common thread, the ultimate outcome of all my work with hundreds over decades? Is … Self Love. If God lives within you, you must then first truly love yourself. Self Love … the key focus of all the coaching I’ve ever done.

What would you like to create in your life moving forward that would make your love yourself more? Have more self love? Here’s my personal experience. Coachies frequently ask, “Coach, what’s your preferred future?” Over many years I’ve moved ever so slowly to define my own. Today, my preferred future is clear. It’s known simply as “The Gathering” Here it is.

I’m standing in the middle of an assembled crowd of family and friends. They form a series of concentric circles. My family stands closest to me in the first circle. The others are rimmed around the others with all the other people present. Each one of them is well known to me. They know me well too. From one to the next. Each involving a very specific personal journey or experience we’ve shared together. The joys, the losses, the stumbles … the successes and the failures. I tear as I make eye contact with each one of them. From one to the next.

Remembering the intimate parts of their lives they’ve trusted me with. Each warms me. Captures my spirit, my heart. This is a virtual gathering of them all. Those who have allowed me to guide them. Impact their lives. Each is unique. The love I have for one just amplifies the love I feel for the next. On and on … “The Gathering.”

This is my “preferred future.”Today is my 75th birthday. Four months ago a friend of mine and I had dinner. Some business stuff to cover. But little did I know what else would ensue. John offered this. “75.” Quite a milestone. Why don’t I reach out to the many you’ve had impact on during your life.” On reflection I think John was a messenger, a “Vessel” brought to assemble my gathering. Feeling this might be a little self serving, I never the less relented, “Gosh, John, that would be amazing.” We finished our dinner, moved on. Fast forward to yesterday.

A FedEx box arrived. A bound document inside. Sixty pages of best wishes, reflections. Stories. Thank Yous. From all those gathered. People I’d coached over all the years. My vision of The “Gathering” … my “preferred future” zoomed to mind. Overwhelming …There in front of me was the crystallization of my “preferred future.” Thoughts, intense emotions rushed in as I read each message? “Oh wow, how are you? And you. And you!” So vivid as I relived our times together here.

Now. No time had passed. My 75th birthday? My best. Not even close! I will never be able to repay my friend John Hearn for his precious gift. I emailed one friend, “This was like attending my own funeral.” He replied, “Yes, Bricks. May be true. The difference is you’re here to see how much you are truly loved.” I’ve never felt so much so. My heart felt thanks each of you who sent your best wishes on my birthday. Helped me so fully celebrate my “Gathering.”I’m still out looking for more … reaching to connect with more to join you.