I’ve always known that writing memorializes experiences, people, events that define a life lived. Joys, sorrows, victories, defeats. All the things that make up the human condition. All God sends our way.Yesterday I had an experience I hope my grandchildren … actually all my family members will read … think about.I will be 75 on July 9th. I’ve heard some wonderful stories about friends of mine who’s 75th birthdays has been special. Occasions that have taken place in many creative, unique ways. Dinners, letters and loving notes. Skits put on by family. Family trips in some cases.

I have visualized what my 75th birthday might look like.  All the hugs. Tears. Good wishes. In person visits. I’m a huge relationship guy. Reach out to others. Always. Have great friends. A golf group I’ve organized for the last twenty years that has traveled the country A lunch group from church I’ve gathered with for ten. Relationships. What so much of my life has been about. Numero Uno!

So, in honesty? My 75th? It would be a great celebration. Even a brief visit with my mortality. A chance to adjust that “rear view mirror” and look back on it all. All of the wonderful people that have defined my life. I would greet it all with a smile …Family of course would be front and center. A party? Surprises? Just a chance to reflect, have others reflect too. My girls say I’m “needy.” What a compliment! I love. I love to be loved. My signature page on my email … “What is Love? All there is”Needless to say, this needy (I am) 75 year old was psyched to celebrate this special birthdayTHIS IS ABOVE ALL!! IS NO PITY PARTY!

But I learned a lesson yesterday. At least I applied some of what I’ve written about here for the last four years … to myself.We are living through one of the greatest challenges our world has faced in a century. The devastating corona virus pandemic. People are shut in their homes. Over a hundred thousand people have died in the US. This doesn’t bode well, call for a normal 75th birthday. In this case … mine.This would not a time for a normal celebration.

The planned gathering of loved ones here in Atlanta for a few days … Oops, maybe not.My family in CT? Couldn’t get on a plane. Virus too contagious. A fifteen hour drive to Atlanta would just be too much, so awkward. I said to myself, “Hey! It’s my 75th birthday. Suck it up. Get down here!” My family here in Atlanta? Working through some things at home. It was just learned that a few kids at my grandchildren’s school had been diagnosed with coronavirus. A lot going on with the gang here too. “Tough!” I said to myself. “Suck it up! It’s my 75th birthday!”

This was all about me. My ego. My neediness. Whatever. Screw it! My 75th was happening. Virus and all.But then I had a moment. In the shower after hitting golf balls yesterday. Thousands are dying … 40M people have lost jobs. Sports … concerts … funerals … special events of all kinds have been canceled or postponed.All of a sudden my turning 75 appeared very, very small to me. I felt a little ashamed … even a bit guilty. I had put my birthday on such a pedestal.

We could postpone … even just let it pass. My guys are creative enough. We would “Zoom.” I know I’d get all the beautiful wishes I’d hoped for. My birthday? Just wasn’t really that important.I had to put my ego aside. Check in with myself. Step outside “me” and take stock. Think of others. Something I’ve written about, practiced I hope. All my live. With this time of totally unique challenge? “It’s not about you, Bob! Open your eyes. Get over it! It’s not about you.”The stuff God sends our way? He was sending my way? And not very subtly … Life is never at it’s best when it’s all about YOU.My 75th birthday will be grand. I’ll feel loved. Appreciated. Mr “Needy” would be Ok. And in no small way because I paused. Thought more about what others will be dealing with on July 9th. So much more than I will. I moved to a different place while in that shower.

Emotionally. Spiritually. And chose thankfully to see love in its truest form. When it’s extended to others. And paradoxically at 75 … feel love of myself even more. Could be the greatest birthday gift of all.