An unexpected emotional aspect of this virus mess for me? A deepened feeling of sentimentality. Even a little check in with my mortality. People today say we’re realizing those things in life that are “really important, that matter” For me, remembering past experiences, relationships, joys are among my “really importants.”

Yesterday I was looking at a small table in our living room. There sat four pictures. One of my absolutely beautiful mother. One of my older brother, Ricky. Who died so tragically drowning in a pond behind my grandparents home in Wayne, PA at the age of two … in 1944. The third pictured my mom on a couch holding me as an infant. My then deceased brother Ricky, smiling, sitting next to us. Finally a picture of my grandparent’s wedding invitation. Held in Los Angeles in 1916. Wow! What a span of time … 1916 to 1944 to today. These pictures had been on that table since my mother died ten years ago. Ten years on that table. And yesterday? I felt like I was seeing them … really seeing them for the first time. I immediately took photos of them and emailed them to all my cousins. Why? They would connect with these. Identify with them. Remember Ricky.

I got immediate replies from some of them. They certainly knew the story of brother Ricky’s tragic death at age 2. My uncles, moms two brothers, had told them about all the sorrow, the grief’ that followed. Among their poignant responses?“

“Bobby, wow! I’d never seen a picture of Ricky!” they exclaimed. He looks just like Tucky!” … my younger brother brother born after me. And he did.What moved me to go here? Go here now? So naturally. I wrote a blog post two years ago. “The Deep Pool Within …” where I described the hurried, self focused lives we lead today. All the “surface” stuff that drives us. Status, appearance, ego. You get it. But then I described a deep pool … beneath the surface. Aspects of Spirit, soul. Who we are really are. Or at least who we should be. More loving. More aware. More appreciative of things important, that matter. Like those pictures on the table. Maybe paradoxically one of those silver linings people describe this virus sends us to. If we choose to listen. It’s said that as we age, wisdom arrives. A marrying of intellect and emotion.

If I was to adequately describe my experience yesterday? It would be a cognitive, intellectual acknowledgement that those pictures were there. My remembrances were real. But all my thoughts were fueled by a flooding wave of emotion … not common. It was as though yesterday, the pending lessons are on their way as the impact of coronavirus penetrates life? Led me to “see” those pictures. Suddenly arrive with an intense feeling of sentimentality. About life past. Life ahead too.

My cousin Gracie forwarded two pictures she had. My grandmother’s wedding party from 1916. My grandmother in her wedding dress. Wow! I’m going to see my grandchildren today. I’ll show them the pictures from the table. Tell them about the uncle they’ll never know. Show them the pictures of their great, great grandmother! Someday they may see these as I have. Sentimentally I hope …