What could I possibly mean by these? Well, I’ve decided to act, behave differently every time I sit at a bar, fly on a plane or get my haircut.

What do all these experiences have in common? People. Usually to my right. My left. People I have never met. Previously, I’ve chosen not to engage with them … any of them. Assuming what I call a “cigar store Indian” posture. Staring forward. Speechless. I now see bars, planes and barber shops differently. Those unknown to me were people who also have chose to stare, not speak … just like I had for years. But a funny thing happens now. I choose to connect. Reach out lightly … testing their willingness to chat, and maybe I’ll learn something about those I’d ignored in the past. I might ask, “How are you this morning?” Never knowing what response I would get. Some choose to “cigar store Indian” me. Sit there like a statue. A few don’t even reply. Game over. I return quickly to my own “cigar…“ posture.

But more often I would get a response to my question, “Good, how are you?” An exchange would follow. Usually, about frequency of visits to the bar. Or how often do you fly … what do you think the wait time here at the barbershop is? Most times I would learn a little more about these unknowns. What they did for a living. What they thought of Atlanta or the airline. Or more simply, how was their day was going. Didn’t really matter what the content of the chat might be. The key was … I showed I was “interested” in them. I wasn’t focused first on simply being “interesting” myself … bore my new acquaintance with all my stuff. Just a small gesture of kindness. Whether it be well received or not. Sometimes this drives my family nuts. “There he goes again.” But I’m so Ok with that. Because I’ve met a select one or two who have ended up being good friends. A few wanted a bit of coaching. Others (waiters, bar tenders and my barber) say, “Hi!” with a big smile and a hug. Just because I engaged with them differently than others did.

Ah! Case in point! I’m writing this on a plane. Early 7am trip home. The flight attendant is delivering drinks and snacks. Maybe 120 on the flight. I watch her coming down the isle. I’m next. Fifty more still to be served. She had a scowl on her face that would scare a bulldog. Probably an upset stomach too. She gave me my drink for which I simply said, “Thank you for your warm smile and energy this morning.” Suddenly she lit up and smiled brightly, put her hand on my shoulder and said cheerfully, “Oh thank you so much.”

No big deal. Maybe made the remaining seventy passengers a bit more fun for her? Don’t know. What I do know? Every encounter with another human being is an opportunity connect with a kind gesture or question. However insignificant it may seem. Again not all will respond. Those who do are small little gifts. Gifts I choose to give myself.

So the next time you are in a bar, a barber shop or on a plane … remember. You never know what you’ll get when you reach out to someone. But there is no downside in doing so. A random act of kindness can go a long way to connecting you both.