My father was an unforgettable character. A great athlete, wonderful provider. And even though he rarely told me so … very proud of me.

He taught me many lessons. None more important than this one. “Be yourself.” This piece of advice has always resonated with me. I’ve utilize a behavioral diagnostic in my coaching practice that measures what’s labeled “Natural” and “Adapted” behavioral style. On one hand how someone behaves … naturally. Their behavioral DNA if you will. And they alter their behavior … adapt it when they go out into the world. I’ve administered hundreds maybe a thousand of these over the years. Their accuracy on average is about 85%.The question here? Is this person being himself? Or might he/she be adapting his behavior to fit in with his environment, respond to parental pressure, work place demands. In short is this person or is he not being authentic. Being his true self.

Instinctively you can read inauthenticity, can’t you? One who talks a lot about himself. Who makes you feel like he’s talking down to you. One who gets frustrated or angry often. A poor listener. The lack of authenticity comes in many different packages. But sense it, see it, feel it? You can for sure.

People lacking authenticity are usually boring. Have little interest in you. They’re a little out of synch. See themselves as belonging to a special class or place in life that separates them from others. They’ve created a protective bubble for them to live in. These guys love “cocktail talk” (I’ve referred to this as “chewing gum for the mind). Rarely open … because, and get this. Deep down they don’t want you to know … they actually don’t know!! How to “Be yourself.” They simply don’t know who they are. The essential parts of their psyche don’t work together. Awkward. A condition covered over by airs, surface thoughts. Self focus.

Then there is the authentic person. It’s mostly about their presence. Referred to often as …  “comfortable in their own skin.” Softer eye contact. Real eye contact. Always remember names, because they take true interest in others. Usually have positive things to say. There’s a sense of wisdom about them. In conversation they will have more questions than answers. And maybe this above all? They have great social mobility. Regardless of another’s state in life? Authentic people treat all they encounter with respect … regardless of the “class” or strata in society another might reside. The best leaders I’ve worked with are hopefully and firstly above all … authentic. Confident. Trust builders. Always present. Never so busy they can’t pause to hear another’s observation, point of view … challenge or problem.

So why is authenticity so important? Because the more authentic you are? The better the parts of your psyche work together. The more fluid, natural you feel, others feel, see you are. You will be someone others seek out. Enjoy being with.  “I can trust this person.” Oh, and you will get more done. There will be less maintenance figuring things out. You know who you are. Your strengths, your weaknesses. You apply yourself effectively. Know your capacity. Your influence on others will abound.Extend authenticity to culture. Businesses and organizations that have taken the time to uncover their true identity. Strived to behave and live each day being. Oozing character. Or as one great leader I know labels it … they live “preeminently” authentic lives.

Pardon the analogy. But we’re talking about the difference between a Porsche and an Edsel (Google it; not the guy, the car).Authentic people nourish me. I always come away from a conversation having learned something, absorbed something about him or her I want to emulate.With all of life’s pressures we face, authenticity is hard to sustain. Boy, but oh so worth the effort. A great person I coach said once to me. “I hope when I die a key part of my legacy will be that I lived my life authenticity.” I thanked him for that.