If you asked someone, “What’s the opposite of Love?” The normal reply, “Hate”. I ask this question frequently, and I get the same reply, “Hate”. Richard Jampolsky wrote a book in 1979 entitled, Love is Letting Go of Fear… Groundbreaking then… even more so today. You can buy it on Amazon.

In fact what I’ve learned? The opposite of Love isn’t hate… it’s fear.Paul Assaiante, legendary coach of squash at Trinity College in CT, my alma mater, holds the longest winning streak in NCAA history. 282 consecutive squash matches. Astounding! Maybe for some. But not for this magician. Paul has for over a decade recruited young players from all over the world. They came to Trinity with the highest of expectations. After all Paul had seen them in action in their homeland. Exceptional talents. At Trinity? … Play, just go play.

But curiously Paul found many of these young men… boys really played at a level below their capability when they arrived at the College. “Hmm… what’s going on here.” Got it! We had taken these wonderful kids (17yrs old or so) out of their homeland, away from family and friends. They were fearful… taken from the love of home and loving relationships.Assaiante had to do more here than just coach squash. He had to become a strong male presence. Help his beautiful protégés … face their fears. Regain some of the loss of the love of family, friends that muffled their performance… prevented them from being their total selves.

The opposite of Love is fear. I can’t go into what the coach did to help dispel their fears. All I can say is… the result was the judge. 282 squash matches. Always blows my mind when I think of it.Now. My real point. Here’s something I won’t let my dear friend Paul forget. A few years ago I asked him to come to Maine and speak to me and twenty of my fraternity brothers who had gathered for our 15th consecutive year (not a bad record itself) to play golf. I won’t mention that Coach drove some 3-4 hrs up and the same back for a one hour address. But he did. That’s just him. His talk? As accomplished as the first time I heard him speak here in Atlanta years ago.

But here’s what I remember most from that evening. Paul had written a book, Run to the Roar chronicling his journey to 16 (not sure of the #) National Squash Championships. The essential message? Face your fears. At the end of his talk in Maine, he told our group, “Guys, I’m going to write another book. This one will be about ‘Love’… Huh?

But of course. Paul truly knew… The opposite of fear is … Love. His next book would be about Love. How confirming. Jampolsky’s book in 1979. Paul’s … in… Oh, he hasn’t written it yet! Same theme. Same timeless message. The opposite of Love is fear. A book about Love? So him.Paul Assaiante is one of the most loving people I know. I see him infrequently. But when I do. Or just talk to him on the phone. The Love abounds.Today? Paul, where’s that book on ‘Love’?! … I’m going to hold you to it. The opposite of fear? Well, I can’t wait to read the book.