We all like to believe we’re a “person of character.” Right? I’m not one to cite others failings, flaws. Like you I hope I give others the benefit of the doubt when they stumble, fall. “Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone.”Ok. But Hillary Clinton’s book outing this week left me breathless. What a thunderbolt lesson on integrity. No need to comment further. All the hilarity, humility attached to her offering have been hand wrung by the commentators, the press… to exhaustion.

What came to my mind? How does character in another reveal itself … unveil? Is there a process I go through to assess one’s character? Or is it just instinctive?Here’s what I’ve discovered. My “gut” is usually the trigger. First 30 seconds. Sends me into to what I’ve found is indeed… a process. I interview two, three potential new hires for clients each week.I’ve spent endless hours identifying, clarifying my own value system. For instance. Three core values I’ve always lived by when assessing a candidate for my coaching.People… Impact… Truth.

Let’s just look at my People value for now.People: Focus on the person. Resume, track record, achievements, losses, resilience, family … current, former, “edge.” Posture, voice, eye contact. Many more “checks” in a list I run through. Mentally first then on paper. Interestingly, this is never a pass fail scoring. 70 here is not a passing grade.Instead (and here is where I diverge from my Process)… instinct clicks in. You see most people will claim they have integrity. Sure. Of course. Honest… hard working. But slight hesitations in conversation, body language, even mild contradictions show me a thread I must pull. “Tell me more about that.” A whispering signal of who someone might be. Beyond all their rhetoric.

The analogy that comes to mind? I’ve been on a lot of plane flights. Believe me. I’m kind of an expert. One thing I’ve always wondered. When I pull the tray down from the seat in front of me? Is it clean? Or do I see food, coffee stains? A quiet inkling. I wonder about the engine flying this plane. Extreme? Maybe.But I think unveiling character is like an airline tray. About something small that can reveal something large.My 5/95 rule applies here. In business hiring. Concentrate on the first 5% of a new relationship. Focally. And there’s a great chance the remaining 95% will go well.Character… Unveils. Reveals itself so many ways in such subtle ways. If blatantly so? Like Hillary?! Great.

Character in another will be so easy to discern.Be thorough, intentional. Hires, friends, even a life partner. Nourish yourself with healthy relationships. One key to happiness.