I’ve coached some big guys in my day. CEOS… entrepreneurs.They have gotten where they are by taking risks. Usually well calculated, but not always. Financially, career wise. The bets they’ve taken and won. That’s what’s made them “big.”But I’ve discovered that with all the trappings. The cars, homes, all the $$. You get it. The greatest risk they usually call me in to help them with? … The Emotional Risk. Conflict with a partner. Problem with a spouse. Even one of their children.Here’s Mr. Big. Ego centered, professional, impressive. In charge. At the same time usually in meltdown. He’d never say so. Perplexed by emotions he needs to sort out in order to move forward. He’s risked the money, the opportunity, his reputation in some cases. Took these head on. But tell his wife he’s sorry for what he did? Restore broken trust with a tough business partner?Whoa Nellie… not so easy. The Emotional Risk. The hardest risk to take… of all.

Remember? That beautiful girl in high school who was simply over your pay grade… out of reach. Asking her for a date?! Daunting… emotional. “If she turns me down. Well… I’ll be devastated.”Or a distance, a tension between you and a good friend. I’ve sure been here. Two things I’ve learned:One… If you’re hesitating to deal with an issue with your friend… anyone really… don’t avoid, hesitate. Feelings unattended to only amplify. Grow if given more time.Two… Just before you confront your friend? Ask permission. “Is it Ok if I share something sensitive that I need to discuss with you? Ok?”Really softens the blow. Alerts the other party. Avoids surprising him/her.

Know this. Emotions create illusions in our minds. Perceptions that are not reality. But are sure emotionally challenging. Example. “She hates me.” Accept these for what they are. False feelings that most times should be dismissed. Probably in my experience? Illusions are about 90% false. Regardless of how much you may feel they are real.Lastly, I once coached a guy who had a person reporting to him who was driving him nuts. Undependable, arrogant, hard to supervise. My guy was freaking out. Tell his direct support how he felt… what he was experiencing? You kidding?! He might blow up… even quit! With some coaching my guy Ted, agreed to approach his employee.His response? “Ted, thank you. I was feeling the tension too. I’m so glad we can get back on track.” Game over.This is the outcome of stepping up. Almost every time.Taking the greatest risk all. The Emotional Risk.

Just do it…