“Surprise” Birthday
“Surprise” Birthday
Events will come to me periodically that I feel are worth sharing. You may benefit from the following because our lives are parallel in so many ways… aren’t they? If you message me, after I’ve sent you something, “Hey, Bob… thanks for that.” My time couldn’t be spent more rewardingly.
My wife Nancy celebrated her birthday this week. She won’t let me tell you which one. But let’s just say I’m 72. She’s two years behind me. She is happy she’ll never catch up Nance has never been one for the big “splash.” Opposite of me. She gave me a 40th for the ages. Not for this piece though.I asked her, “What do you want to do for your birthday, honey’?” … “Just be with my Atlanta family.” Ok… Dinner?” “Yeah. That would be great.” Oh, we’d attended the parties for best friends. Heard about all the cars, diamonds, exotic trips others had bestowed on the occasion of a — th birthdays. Not her deal. Just a dinner with family. So, off to daughter Sam’s. Presents? Not. Nancy’s mandate. No presents.
Instead my two grandchildren and the their parents had each written a letter to her. How they felt about her. A-l-l-l the things she had done for them over the years. Special dinners… always exquisite. All the trips she guided us on… “Travel is education, Bob.” Was Nance ever right about that! Sam’s prep school soccer team gave her an award for attending every game they played… over two seasons. Some of them as much as 50 miles away. All that wisdom, discipline, and most of all the love she had given her grandchildren. Always, always being there… for us all. Always. Always. Seeing the outpouring of love, tears, hugs… remembering, celebrating from my family toward my wife blew me away. This piece is titled “Surprise” Birthday… but no, we didn’t surprise Nanc’ on her birthday last Monday. The “surprise” was all on me. The letters each family member wrote to her? Wonderful. But Oh my! How taken I was by what I saw.
I had simply forgotten all the incredible things my wife had done for us. Over all those years. Without fanfare. Just unassumingly going about her every day. No request was missed, objected to. For me… a beautiful home. Finding all those things I misplaced, I was sure I’d lost. Groceries always resupplied. You know… stuff you just eventually expect… get used to. Babysitting at a moments notice for her grandchildren. No sacrifice there. I’d was so disappointed in myself. I’d forgotten. Sat on the couch thinking, lamenting as the letters were being read, “You bozo.”
Literally in an instant… all my petty judgements of Nancy, “Why doesn’t she do this, do that?!” The picky things we all engage in with our spouses… seemed to just wash away. In an instant. I saw my daughter, my son in law, my two grandchildren in tears, hugging Nancy tearfully as they read each letter… so graciously.
I love my wife even more today since my birthday “surprise” last Monday. In truth I got up early Tuesday morning, sent her this text. “I’m sorry… ” “What for, Bob?” … “I just forgot all the things you’d done for us… me.” Hugging her, “I’m just so sorry.””Oh, Bob! Thank you!” As she turned to wash golf shirts of mine from a trip I’d just returned from. Yeah. On and on.
In our parallel lives there is no doubt a gifted one like Nancy probably lives right next to you. What might you have missed? Forgotten, taken for granted? Maybe you should let her know. How you really feel about her… or him. Today. Birthday or not.
16 Comments
Simply lovely. As lovely should be.
Thanks as alway. You’re one of my dearest friends.Be sure to get to me re those “late afternoon” chats you suggested.
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We all have different times when writing might be best. I arise normally between 3am and 4. Meditate first. Most Blog content surfaces as I lie in bed before getting up. Meditation settles me. Suggest you need to quiet your mind first. Not easy, but with repetition you’ll find relative peace. Usually one draft. Then edits and it’s off to be published. A routine. Change is always a choice Not a matter of capacity.Hope this helps.
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This is Bob… “The Space Between the Notes”Late reply. No Twitter but keep visiting. Love you commenting.