There’s an article in the Wall Street Journal this morning entitled, Going Out to Lunch is a Dying Tradition. As one cited, “I put going out to lunch right up there with fax machines and pay phones.” Lost opportunity… a lost art really.

The premise of this Blog is that we all need more Space Between the Notes. This is simply further, current evidence that this is so.

The article states that Americans went out to lunch 433 million times less times this year than last costing restaurants nationally 3.2 billion dollars in 2016.I used to conduct an exercise during speeches before audiences. I asked them where they spent most of their time each day? The constant refrain, of course, “In urgent, important, box checking tasks. You know all the stuff we deal with during a day. Ok, get it.

But then I ask, “If you had your choice where would you like to spend more time? “Getting better organized… taking time to actually plan the day… even prioritize.” This response was almost always unanimous . “Slow down and watch how you speed up?” The paradox. But our fears creep in. We just don’t slow… enough. Do we… do you.The reality? This is easy to acknowledge, just so really hard to actually do. Many of us know what we prefer. But the culture, the demands… the boss! May just not influence us, allow us to address the important, less urgent matters that can… well, really matter. In truth he doesn’t slow either.Less lunches? Just another indicator. Whether it’s robots, Amazon or the accelerating pace of technology, we’re in the soup. Thinking there’s less and less space. Time. The result? Stress, depression, drugs, physical well being. You know. Got it?

Seems like it’s just common sense? But the cell phones, IPads and ever faster laptops say not. They are winning. We see this fast paced trend unfolding before our eyes. It’s just so hard to be contrarian and fight all these forces we face.

Back to the lunches. The following story is a return of a theme residing in most of my writing. I once had two key people on a team I coached who had to get along for the team to perform. They weren’t. The transactions of the day always took precedence over resolving the differences between them. They avoided conflict. Our natural tendency.

Over time it got worse. I said to my client, their direct report, “This stops or the bottom line here will be impacted negatively.” Suggested the two simply take a few deep breaths, take the emotional risk of having a long lunch together. They did. Some long absent, actual eye contact.”Wow! You’re a baseball fanatic! So am I! Wow! You love Chinese food? So do I.” “We really want the same things from the team, don’t we.”… A softening exchange. An icebreaker. Over lunch. Just lunch? No it not just lunch.”… A Dying Tradition”… ?? Remember change is a choice… never a matter of capacity. Look around. Is their a colleague or team member or even family member, friend you might want to… need to ask to lunch?

You’ll help yourself, the economy and some of those great restaurants waiting for you.