I heard long ago … In marketing, you’d be better or different. Hopefully both. Different from the rest. Better than the rest. That’s how you beat the competition, gain market share. A good axiom that has served businesses well. But marketing, winning business has nothing to do with my message here.

Rather I want to share with you a caution I’ve lived with for decades.

Personal growth is, just that … personal. We all grow in different ways, at different speeds. Growth fuels feelings of well being, develops healthy behavior, breeds confidence. Essentially, growth drives much of our “success in life.”

But here’s the caution. Some of us are resistant when it comes to growth. “Oh, that’s not for me. Go ahead. You read all those books, take that course. Work with your coach. Not my deal.” You can visualize those you know who are like this. That’s Ok

There are those who try to move forward … healthily. Mentally, physically, spiritually. But their progress seems slow. Slower than yours. Because so much of our lives is built on comparison? Your position in life. It’s hard not to compare. Take stock of your status at times.

“How am I doing relative to him or her?” Joined with this, “Look at me. I’m doing much more than those around me. I’m growing like a weed. Maybe they should just lie down and go to sleep. Look at me go!”

Oops! There it is. The caution. A “negative ego” emerges my coach warned me about frequently. This will retard growth. Hold you back. Subtle but harmful. I’m better than others.”

I’ve worked with my coach for decades. I’ve grown with his guidance. I’m a pretty confident guy.

There are some I know who I love, respect, can be in awe of. Many times I’ll notice something about them, regardless of their status that surprises me. “I can’t believe they didn’t know that.” Or, “Huh, I know that.” I’d meet with my coach. “Can you believe they didn’t know that?! And I do?”

As I’m buffing my nails with pride, he drills me with this …

Bob, please know this …

You’re going to see those around you who aren’t doing the work you’re doing. It’s Ok. In your mind they may growing more slowly than you. It’s Ok. Or you may look at them and think, “How can they go through life and not grow at all?

Here’s when he “stones” me! Remember … above all.

“You are never better than another … only different.”

Wow, what a wake up call. What a critical aspect of personal growth we all need to embrace … humility. Getting over your skis about where you are … who you are? No good. God made all of us in His image. No one of us is “better“ than another. Most of all … you. Only “different.”

With this lesson, I find myself more accepting, less self important. More empathetic. Every once in awhile, “Who the hell do you think you are, Bob?! Get over yourself. You don’t have all the answers.”

So, so true. Try to spill all my wisdom on others? And watch humility take a back seat.

“See, I knew it. I’m better than others.” Ha! Nice try.

No … “You are never better than another … only different.”