Maybe like you, my “train” … the speed I move through life continues to accelerate. It used to be my “train” chugged up the hill like the Little Engine that could. (Remember it?) “Choooo … chooo … chooo” You know. More slowly. Today it’s like a bullet train. “Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo!! Faster, faster … ever so faster. Ok. Not a whole lot of the world around us that we control. The volume of “stuff” we each deal with varies widely. Some live more inactive lives. Others are always running ahead, creating new things. And yes, a little out of control at times. But life speeds forward.

David came to me for counsel. “I’m exhausted.” “How did I get here?” “Something has to change.” “Ok, let’s take an inventory” I said. What’s going on?” And like snowflakes blowing around on a winter’s day, David’s issues surfaced. His problems were all over the place. An entangled mess that blurred and boggled his mind. Oh, there were things like money, marriage and career that usually accent an engagement like this. But it’s a myriad of things resulting from procrastination or some bad decision making. Such was the case with David here.

Settling him emotionally, letting him know, “You can do this!” Building confidence is key. So, with my guidance he “vomited” all his issues out. And yes, they spewed out like a “dog’s breakfast.” Not pretty. But we calm, we prioritize. Begin with issue number one which many times is the state of the marriage. (Get this one right first or don’t proceed further.) We rarely move from #1 to #2 until #1 has been addressed. Otherwise, the mind drifts, scattering the things we’ve identified.

Amidst the complexity of an approach like this, is a paradox. There is a essential core, a sort of rudder really that is available to guide one through a maze. The rough waters all of us face at some point.

We only have three audiences that are essential to creating a more coherent, ordered, vibrant life. I shared these with David.

God (or one’s higher power) … the critical sense that He takes care of everything. There’s not an eyelash, a hair on your body He does not know. Embracing this reality can be calming, confidence building. Take a little more risk. Live in truth. Appreciate your humanness. This is the foundation. Reduces the complex to the more manageable. Trust in Him first? You are on the right path.

Your Family … hopefully the most important people in your life. Yes, for better or worse. Richer or poorer. Your spouse is your rock. Nancy and I just celebrated our 53rd wedding anniversary. The road has been filled with twists and turns. Ups and downs. Above all a marriage is sacramental. A bond not to be broken. In most cases a family follows marriage. The two of you are the creators, leaders of your “clan.” More than one child? A gift. They’re always different in good ways. You love each child the same. Hopefully treat them as equals.

Everything Else … is nothing but “noise!” The rest is just whatever life sends you. Career path … relationships … politics … health. On and on. I heard this yesterday, “No hero goes unwounded.” None of us do. We don’t need to view our challenges as sufferings. Rather just as the “noise” life sounds our way.

We worry. Gnash our teeth. Anxiety, anger? Even depression. No need. You need only remember how blessed you are. Gratitude, thankfulness. Confident that faith and family are things that truly matter. It’s been said, and I have experienced, that 80% of the things we worry about never happen.

David listened intently. His issues didn’t dissolve before his eyes. But his gaze did. He seemed to feel a sense of control. Amidst all his issues. Most of which were beyond his control.

David, think of it like this … Like a pilot in a plane. Hands on the wheel. Flying through a sky. Might be smooth. Might face turbulence. Even a storm. All he controls is how he responds. But he’s seen most, not all, of these challenges before. His control resides in how he decides to steer the plane.

So, time to proceed. Faith … family. Go.